A Dispatch From The Super 8 Motel In Abilene, Kansas

April 26, 2025

After eight pages of journalistic fluff, I finally have somethin' substantial to write. Yup, I made it to Kansas. I drove a metal buggy and its team of six pistons to get here, but I think I redeemed myself at the end of the day by cyclin' in Kansas for the first time in my life. As you can see in the photo above, the state is already providin' a heap of fun.

Thus begins the screenplay for my Ersatz Cowboy Movie.

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Abilene has a revered place in old west history. One interesting tidbit is that Wild Bill Hickok was its sheriff back in the 1870's. Wild Bill was not only a famous historical figure, but he also had a great nickname. With a little luck and a little more outrageous behavior, perhaps I might be remembered in Cycleblaze history as “Wild Greg Garceau.”

As nicknames go, “Ike” ain't quite on the same level as "Wild Bill." Still, Dwight D. Eisenhower grew up in Abilene and went on to become a Republican President of the United States way back in the 1950's. In those days, Republicans weren't as different from Democrats as they are today. I'd like to think President Eisenhower wouldn't have done half the stuff our current presi . . . nevermind . . . this is no place for my radical lefty politics. Let's focus on fun stuff.

Nice Wild Bill Hickok mural. Somehow, it seems appropriate to my wild west theme that the mural is on the side of a gun shop.

Ike lived in this house when he was a kid.

Ike and Wild Greg, side by side. (I feel a little inferior not being on a pedestal.)

The main reason I made Abilene my first night's stop was because a classic country & western song was written about the town. I'm not a country music fan, but I remember hearing that song on the radio long ago and I liked it. The singer of the song claimed Abilene was the prettiest town he'd ever seen. Who could resist such praise? Not me.

I rode Son of Bing Bong all over town and it sure felt good to be out of that bloody, stinkin' Chrysler buggy. With apologies to the citizens of Abilene and to the fans of the “Abilene” song, though, I can safely say I've seen plenty of towns that are prettier than Abilene. Sorry--that's just one cowboy's opinion--and I'm well aware it ain't worth the internet space it's written on.

Part of Abilene's business district. I wish I had booked a room at the Hotel Sunflower instead of the Super 8.

It's hard to imagine Mud Creek helped to make Abilene the prettiest town anybody had ever seen.

So, yeah, Abilene has probably deteriorated since its heyday, but that doesn't mean it has NO redeeming quirks and curiosities. I found several good ones. In fact, who'd'a thunk I'd be able to add to my personal collection of "World's Largest Things" on my first day in Kansas? Not me.

Ah, the joy of discovery!

The World's Largest Belt Buckle. In the absurd realm of world's largest things, only the world's largest frying pan in Brandon, Iowa compares.

Caption #1: My middle school didn't have such a cool mural. Caption #2: The sky on the mural is prettier than the actual sky today. Caption #3: The stampeding herd provided the backdrop to my selfie at the top of this page.

The cowboy boot is probably not the world's largest, but I bet the spur is somewhere in the top ten of world's largest spurs.

After the World's Largest Belt Buckle, this was my second favorite joy of discovery today. Keep it up Kansas!

Six hundred miles of drivin' today; 200 miles tomorrow to get to Dodge City. Please join me there. In the meantime, you can watch this video of the ultra-hip George Hamilton IV singing his country & western hit, Abilene.

Today's ride: 10 miles (16 km)
Total: 10 miles (16 km)

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Steve Miller/GrampiesGood start to an amazin' tour.
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4 days ago

Gregory GarceauTo Steve Miller/GrampiesThank you Grampies. The tour may not be amazin' to everybody, but I'm excited.
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4 days ago

Andrea BrownSo after the glamor of Abilene I had to rabbit hole the internet looking for where that song originated, and bingo: "Hootenany Hoot" (1963) which has one of the cheesiest, most fun trailers I've ever seen. Johnny Cash!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlAzgS2iOos
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4 days ago

Gregory GarceauTo Andrea BrownI purposely posted the cheesiest (my word would be corniest) YouTube version of the song I could find, but I had no idea Hootenanny Hoot was a series. It looks like a country-western version of an Annette Funicello beach movie, with a little bit of "A Mighty Wind" thrown in. And yeah, what the heck is Johnny Cash doing on there?
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4 days ago

Mark BinghamIt's not just a Hootenanny, the background says it's a MAMMOTH Hootenanny! This is gonna be great trip, "Wild Greg Garceau, Future Pulitzer Prize Winner!"
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4 days ago

Suzanne GibsonLoving your wild trip already!
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4 days ago

Nancy GrahamYou are making me wonder if I need some touring in Kansas!!! Abilene has been interested so far ;’-).
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3 days ago

Karen PoretTo Nancy GrahamHow about going there during “ tornado season”? 🫣
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3 days ago

Nancy GrahamTo Karen PoretUmmm, errrrr, uh.. maybe not!
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3 days ago

Gregory GarceauTo Mark BinghamThat Pulitzer should be coming my way very soon.
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3 days ago

Gregory GarceauTo Nancy GrahamYes, come to Kansas, and ignore what Karen said about "tornado season."
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3 days ago

Karen PoretTo Gregory GarceauWhat, you don’t have a storm shelter for all of us? Heavens to Betsy.. 😆
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3 days ago

Bob DistelbergThat’s a whole lotta drivin’ pardner. ‘Specially for a cyclin’ cowboy lie yourself.
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3 days ago