Big News in the Bike Touring World - "Vibes" - CycleBlaze

From "Vibes"

By Jeff Lee

Big News in the Bike Touring World

April 1st, 2024: The bicycle touring world was rocked today when Neil Gunton, creator and owner of CrazyGuyOnabike, announced that he was purchasing competing website CycleBlaze.

According to Gunton, he is paying "in the low seven figures" for CycleBlaze. "I have already lined up financing for the acquisition - I have been approved for about 25 new credit cards with great introductory low rates. I expect to be able to pay all of them off soon, when my long-gestating social media website, TopicWise, finally goes live, Real Soon Now"

Gunton, formerly a bicyclist and currently a well-known shut-in, conspiracy theorist, and fire extinguisher enthusiast, says his first order of business at CycleBlaze will be to "ban approximately 80% of the current membership. Basically, if you ever criticized me, even mildly, you're gone. You're definitely gone if you ever clicked the "Disagree" rating on anything I ever wrote on CGoaB. I might also ban people who didn't click the "Agree" rating on my posts in a timely manner as well."

He continued, "I CREATED THIS THING FOR YOU PEOPLE, AND THIS IS THE THANKS I"

[23 Paragraphs removed in the interest of conciseness]

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Comment on this entry Comment 11
Rich FrasierAccording to subsequent news reports, Gunton claims that he will still be able to feed all of his cats after the acquisition. A branding agreement with Kibbles is evidently in the near future. A slight name change to CrazyCatOnABike.com will complete the upcoming rebranding.

Contributing authors were not available for comment. :)
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3 months ago
Bill ShaneyfeltThis is April 1, right?

:-)
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3 months ago
Jeff LeeTo Rich FrasierI'm passing along a response from Neil, which I condensed from his original 2,500+ words: "Cats will be its own topic on Topicwise! CrazyGuyOnaBike will not change! How many times do I have to explain this to you people?!"
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3 months ago
Jeff LeeTo Bill ShaneyfeltCorrect ;)
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3 months ago
Mike AylingAs soon as I saw the date I knew!

Great article and great replies!
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3 months ago
Bill ShaneyfeltTo Jeff LeeGreat job! Any other date, and I would have been scrambling through the internet for more info...

:-)
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3 months ago
Gregory GarceauOh boy, I'm in trouble. I guess I better dust off my Blogspot account for future journals.
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3 months ago
Paul KriegMy first thought was "That sounds nasty!" Then I realized it was April 1st, but still....That sounds nasty!
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3 months ago
Wayne EstesObviously an April Fools joke but Neil's fire extinguisher page is genuine! The narrative of the joke is almost all based on truth, though. 8 people were banished for clicking Agree to a message that I wrote. Most of them are here now.
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3 months ago
Karen PoretTo Bill Shaneyfelt surely hope so, Bill!
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3 months ago
George HallGreat satire and quite factual! Getting kicked off of CGOAB was a shock to me at first, but discovering this site more than compensated for it. This is a much better place, and it's actually easier to create journals here than it was at CGOAB. I'm very happy to be here.
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1 month ago