DAY ONE: Off to See the World

March 1, 2023

Minnesota to Montana

Ancient travel traditions are sacred. I'm a believer in that belief. In this case, I'm talking about a tradition started by Scandinavian Vikings in the 1100's--give or take a century or two. My home state of Minnesota is about as Scandinavian as it gets without actually being in Norway, Sweden or Denmark. Etched by Thor's hammer into one of Minnesota's most secret Norse runestones are the cryptic words, "all who endeavor to embark upon an epic voyage to pillage the world, seek favor under the shield of a chosen icicle, large and fierce."

The runestone is SO secret that only I know about it, and I've been pondering its meaning ever since I discovered it some two days ago. On this, the first day of my own epic trip to conquer the world, I think I've finally decoded Thor's words and have taken them to heart.

My tour is beginning from home so, to my great fortune, I had a multitude of icicles to choose from.

After I finished showing off my fearsome icicle, I went back home to fulfill another ancient tradition. I jammed all of my ancient gear into my ancient pannier. By the time I finished that task, it was almost noon and the weather had changed dramatically. Instead of cold and sunny, it was slightly above freezing and rainy. SON OF A BITTERROOT!

For sure it was an inauspicious start to the tour, but after a short outburst of swearing I calmed down and accepted the rainy conditions. It helped that my imagination could get me several hundred miles down the road today. I knew the weather would be better there . . . wherever "there" will be.

The end of the pavement and the beginning of the adventure

************

Some distance down the road, perhaps a few miles from the North Dakota border, I enjoyed the thrill of my first wildlife sighting. Seven trumpeter swans were flying in formation from east to west. I watched them for maybe 15 seconds, marveling at their beautiful whiteness and at how such large birds can fly so gracefully.

As the swans passed overhead, I realized I should be taking a picture instead of just gazing. I steered my bike off the road to access my camera. Unfortunately, the instant I moved my pannier's zipper one millimeter, every bit of my gear exploded out of there like a car's airbag explodes out of its little compartment upon impact.

By the time I found my camera, twenty feet away, the swans were almost out of view. I searched further for one of the zoom lenses I hadn't eliminated from my final packing list, but that also took too long. Good bye, beautiful swans. May you live long and trumpet loudly.

It's one thing to have your gear explode out of your pannier in the basement of your home. It's quite another to have such an explosion on a gravel road . . . on a rainy day . . . in the middle of nowhere. It took over an hour to gather and account for every single item.

That was it! I decided I was going to reduce my load in the next town, and that's exactly what I did. I donated a bunch of it to the St. Britney Spears Catholic School. I can't think of anything that would take the kids' minds off of weekly bad sermons and the pain of monthly confessions than a three pound high performance supertelephoto lens and a $1,000 campchair with surround sound. I left the bounty at the steps of the church and sped away.

************

I rode all day and well into the night. I was totally exhausted when I reached the little town of Depressionville, Montana. The name of the town didn't deter me one iota. I had already determined I wasn't going to camp this evening on account of all my gear being soaking wet after the pannier explosion. I searched for a nice, cozy, four-star hotel. What I settled for was the only public sleeping quarters in all of Depressionville.

As scary as it looked, I thought to myself, "most Cycleblazers have probably never even SEEN such a motel as this. I might as well be a Cycleblazer trailblazer and try to SLEEP there."

I worried about it being a part time motel and part time hauler for the Depressionville Sausage Company. I'll report back tomorrow on how the night went.

Rate this entry's writing	Heart	12
Comment on this entry	Comment	6

Scott AndersonHey, slow down! Across the Dakotas in one day! You’ll be around the world in just a couple of weeks at this rate. The dog won’t even know you’ve been gone.
Reply to this comment
1 year ago

Emily SharpIcicles on day 1! And big ones at that! Yay! I hope your tour doesn't have as much rain as mine did in Oct/Nov because that was pretty miserable. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
I've never slept in a semi trailer motel, but one auto race I went to here had semi-trailer toilets. Nigel said the men's was on an angle so all the pee ran down the trough to the end of the trailer and down a pipe to the holding tank. So I'm intrigued how your night went!
Reply to this comment
1 year ago

Gregory GarceauTo Scott AndersonI'll try to slow down, but not too much. I only have one month to complete this thing.
Reply to this comment
1 year ago

Gregory GarceauTo Emily SharpThe icicles were for you. Thank you for reminding me to include Thor's immortal words into my first day. Also, thank you for the tilted semi-trailer restroom image. Ha!
Reply to this comment
1 year ago

Ron SuchanekToo bad you missed Medora, ND, home of Mr. Bubble inventor (I Forgot His Name). It's a small touristy town owned by the trust established by the offspring of(I Forgot His Name). There's a large Mr. Bubble museum (I am not making this up) and the town imports young people from countries around the world, dresses them in uniforms and assigns them to work in whatever hotel or business needs help. It's a pretty creepy place in some ways, interesting and a scenic in other ways.
Put that on the list for you next RTW tour!
Reply to this comment
1 year ago

Gregory GarceauTo Ron SuchanekI had been to Medora twice before on bike trips, so I didn't think I needed to go there again. Boy was I wrong. I did not know about the Mr. Bubble Museum. I might have to turn around and make a visit. I sure could use a nice hot bubble bath.
Reply to this comment
1 year ago