Sensationalism Sells Newspapers (and Bike Touring Journals) - It Can't Be THAT Unpleasant - CycleBlaze

August 27, 2023

Sensationalism Sells Newspapers (and Bike Touring Journals)

World's Top Mediocre Journal Writer Reveals A Secret 

One of the basic tenets of journalism is the importance of an attention-grabbing headline.  That works in my favor because when it comes to hyperbole, superlatives and grandiosity, I might be the emperor of the bicycle blogging universe.  It's true!  This journal has barely gotten started and I've already provided several examples of such extremes. 

Of course, I've been spewing hyped-up, truly meaningless garbage like this for years.  It's one of the few skills at which I am better than average.  I suppose you could call it my specialty.

A Bike Tour Like No Bike Tour in Bike Touring History

The above headline isn't really all that outrageous.  When you think about it, EVERY bike tour is like no other bike tour in bike touring history.  If they were all the same, who the heck would bother to read more than one Cycleblaze journal?  Not me.  

In that vein, the headline is not a lie.  Nor is it one more by-product of my ever-growing egomania.  My tour won't make the history books as an ELITE bike trip, but it really WILL be like no other.  Therefore, I ask you to continue reading.  I will do everything in my power to ensure you don't regret it. 

Author Just Realizes There Are Some Things Over Which He HAS No Power

Yup!  No matter how descriptive my words, I can't magically transform ordinary landscapes into jaw-dropping scenery.  I can't show off ancient structures when I'm traveling in a state that's only about 200 years old.  I don't think I could get away with showing pictures of squirrels and crows and calling them wolverines and condors in the captions.  I won't be able to write about friendly meet ups with other bike tourists when there aren't likely to be any.  It would be wrong to portray my trip as high adventure.  And I can't pretend Cheetoes and camp coffee is anything approaching a fine European breakfast any more than I can convince you that a red beans & rice dinner is a Michelin-starred event.

That's where the sensationalistic reporting comes in.  My gimmick for this journal will be to utilize my not-so-special specialty.  In that way, maybe I CAN make this short tour--on a route where nothing approaching a tourist attraction exists, where almost no exotic wildlife roams, where scenic mountain ranges are a thousand miles away, where any semblance of history is abandoned and ignored, and where a feast of hotdogs & corn on the cob is a culinary extravagance--sound somewhat interesting.

This morning, I picked up some road food at the grocery store for my trip which begins tomorrow. At the checkout lane I saw the latest edition of "The National Enquirer." I could learn a thing or two from that excellent newspaper about sensationalistic headlines.
Heart 6 Comment 0 Link
This headline gave me a flashback to the time a black bear tried to eat MY brain. It happened while on my Unbelievable Tour Around an Imaginary World.
Heart 6 Comment 1 Link
Ron SuchanekThat was a moment of courage and resiliency on that trip.
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8 months ago
The black bear looks a little bit like Diggity but, rest assured, he would never attack me like that.
Heart 8 Comment 4 Link
Steve Miller/GrampiesBear is just trying to lick your face (and eat your brain).
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8 months ago
Gregory GarceauTo Steve Miller/GrampiesHey Steve, I think that's the perfect description of what's going on there.
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8 months ago
Mark BinghamThat blood looks so realistic! Is it ketchup?
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8 months ago
Gregory GarceauNot ketchup. Only bloody blood in this journal. Like the bloody blood I remember seeing in one of your journals.
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8 months ago
Rate this entry's writing Heart 13
Comment on this entry Comment 5
Graham SmithGreg at this rate, your journal will easily sky rocket into the Top 99.9% of Most Read Journals. You’ll need to employ a manager to negotiate movie rights.
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8 months ago
Gregory GarceauTo Graham SmithTop 99% of most read journals? That's an excellent sensational headline. I might have to steal it for a future page.
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8 months ago
Graham SmithTo Gregory GarceauYou are welcome Greg. I’ve always maintained that it’s important to deal in facts, not friction, with cycle tour journals.

You could also go full tabloid and have a royal sub-narrative.
eg
Meaghan & Harry Rumoured to also be Cycle Touring SW Minnesota

The Campground King Charles & Queen Camilla Didn’t Stay in
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8 months ago
Mark BinghamYou could also use the insinuation technique: "Trying to decide which part of Minnesota to visit? Keep in mind that in Southwest Minnesota there AREN'T any poisonous bats."
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8 months ago
Gregory GarceauTo Mark BinghamYou can be sure I'll use that technique at some point in my journal.
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8 months ago