the genius - 1982: Stories of the Young and Dumb, aka My First Bike Trip - CycleBlaze

the genius

The service was over at 10:00, and I’d wanted to start riding at 10:45, but didn’t get away until almost noon. William and I planned to meet in Elk City Lake Headquarters so I rode hard to make up for leaving late. When I reached the cutoff for the lake, the road was closed because of a high water level so I wasn’t sure what to do in order to find William. 

I decided to continue on towards Independence  (pop 10,598). On the way there I met three backpackers, two men and a woman, then a guy named Randy. He rode a beat-up bike and knew all the good biking back roads in Independence. Looking at the bottle of whiskey tucked in his pants pocket, I wondered if his knowledge of bicycling routes might have been court imposed.

My journal is vague on how William and I reconnected, just that we did. I’d really like to know, because there were no cell phones, and no way to contact each other. I later learned that he had waited for me at an intersection for an hour and a half, then finally wrote a note on the largest piece of paper he could find and attached it to a sign. I didn’t even go down that road. And how did he attach it? Was he carrying a tape dispenser? Did he use a discarded piece of gum?

Randy showed us where the Pizza Hut was and we ate at the salad bar ($1.69 all you can eat). We ate so much I kept expecting to get the stinkeye from the manager, but never did. From there we went to Sonic for a chocolate shake. 

East of Independence, we started looking for a stealth campsite. At one point we passed an idyllic-looking pond and wondered if it might serve our purpose, so I held our bikes while William went to check it out. 

It’s always difficult to avoid appearing suspicious when you’re doing something suspicious, but William was as cool as they come. He was in No Man’s Land (the area between being able to hide and standing next to your bike) when a car appeared over the small rise.  As slick as a politician’s palm, he turned away from the road, spread his legs just a bit, and pretended to be urinating. 

"This guy is a GENIUS!" I thought. What a perfect way to deflect unwanted attention! In my mind, I could hear the parents in the car as they passed,

“Nothing to see here kids, nothing at all.” 

Or, perhaps trying to deflect attention from us on the right as they passed,

"Hey! Look over on the left! I think I see Mickey Mouse!"

After they passed, William trotted back to the bikes and let me know it looked like a great site. As we set up camp I realized how few times we'd actually pitched out tents together.

William went fishing, but didn't catch anything. There were a lot of bullfrogs around the pond, and he told me the next morning that they sounded like someone coughing and kept him from falling asleep until late.

Not me. It was a bullfrog lullaby.

William Caldwell, genius
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