Onawa to Sioux City - Undaunted Porridge - CycleBlaze

June 4, 2018

Onawa to Sioux City

PLUS, A Story About a Mean Little Man And His Sad Little Long Beard

No it isnt
Heart 2 Comment 0

I want to add on to Jen's post from yesterday. When we arrived at Lewis and Clark State Park, the sign said CAMP AREA FULL, but there clearly a couple dozen open sites. 
The camp "host" was turning people away, claiming that the park was full, probably so he could sit on his ass all day and drink cheap whiskey. He was rude, dishonest and intimidating to Jen. When she told me about the conversation, I went to clarify with the guy. For simplicity, I'll call him Deranged Incompetent Campground Komandant,  or Dick for short. Hey, this is my blog. Anyway,  I walked up to a very withered and disreputable looking man sitting in a chair with what looked like a half-eaten squirrel hanging out of his mouth. As a medical professional and CPR responder, I immediately began the heimlich manouver*  to dislodge the squirrel from this poor man's airway. After all, the longer his brain was deprived of oxygen, the more function he would lose. And I'm pretty sure his baseline was pretty low to start with. So, like CPR Batman, I took action. But as I got closer, I realized the obstructive rodent was only a scraggly, wispy, sad little beard hanging off Dick's chin. He looked like one of those wierd Duck Hunter guys on TV, only much less attractive and more deranged, if you can imagine that. 
Here's my view on the Long beards: Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill of ZZ Top have been been sporting those beards since the early 70s, and they can pull it off. I guess there's the Oak Ridge Boys guy too, but come on. 

Anyway, this guy's hanging bit of mangy badger fuzz was pathetic, although his wife had a great, thick, luxurious beard -haha, just kidding. She had a handlebar mustache! Haha!!

If you are ZZ Top, go for it
Heart 4 Comment 0

*The part about me administering the heimlich might not be accurate. 

Now for the compelling story of June 4! We slept with the rain fly off and it was nice to get the breeze and views. The campsite was good and we got up again at the crack to get an early start. 

These signs are more convoluted than Dick's campground census tool
Heart 4 Comment 0

After riding for a few minutes, I noticed a strange sensation: wind was blowing at our backs. What the heck? Tailwinds? Yes, we finally had tailwinds, and, along with flat terrain, mostly,  they pushed us to Sioux City pretty quickly, 41 miles in 4 hours including breakfast and numerous other stops. 

Foot longs for breakfast
Heart 3 Comment 0
The Iowa countryside
Heart 6 Comment 0

The plan was to get a hotel in Sioux City and rent a car tomorrow so we could drive to Remsen to visit the graves of some of Jen's relatives. It was pretty tricky coming into Sgt. Bluff south of town, as the roads became cluttered with unskilled and rushed suburban drivers, as well as a pretty major hill to finish the day. Portland spoiled us with great infrastructure for bikes, we somehow navigated our way through like Frogger through the strip mall hell to the hotel. The New Victorian was nice and we were able to make our plans for the next couple of days. 

Heart 2 Comment 0
Foster's- Australian for Miller beer
Heart 4 Comment 2
Li LaAnother safe day... relaxing with a frosty. You deserve that....
Reply to this comment
2 years ago
Ron SuchanekTo Li LaIt was delicious. Thanks for reading!
Reply to this comment
2 years ago

Today's ride: 41 miles (66 km)
Total: 229 miles (369 km)

Rate this entry's writing Heart 7
Comment on this entry Comment 3
Scott AndersonLet’s hear it for tailwinds!
Reply to this comment
2 years ago
Gent MendeSee? Just a little more tailwind and you’ll soon be getting up to that Godspeed!
Glad to see y’all are enjoying yourselves— “It doesn’t have to be all fun to be fun.”
Reply to this comment
2 years ago
Ron SuchanekYeah exactly. Thanks for reading and the comment.
Reply to this comment
2 years ago