DAY NINE: In Need of a Ride to the Next Continent

Viet Nam to Singapore

Chef G. offered to make breakfast for me before I left the temple. He asked what I wanted to eat. I told him about how I've been living on freeze-dried crap, dumpster food cooked over a flaming barrel, borscht and vodka shots, fox meat, and cardboard disguised as pizza. "I sure could go for some steak and eggs," I finished.

"Good choice," was his reply. After a couple seconds of thought, he added, "if you promise not to tell the monks, I'll show you a little something from my secret food stash. I have a chunk of steak that will blow your mind."

With that, he disappeared into the next room and re-emerged with something like I had never seen before.

"Will THIS slab of well-marbled deliciousness satisfy your cravings," asked Chef G.

"It will do, I suppose," I gurgled through a waterfall of saliva flowing out of my mouth and down my chin.

Chef G. got right to the task of cooking, and had a nice little breakfast prepared for me within 30 minutes.

Combined with three over-easy eggs, a stack of pancakes, a full plate of crispy hashbrowns, a half-pound cinnamon roll and a pitcher of fresh-squeezed orange juice, it was a breakfast I will never forget. (It might also be a breakfast I will never digest.)

I gobbled it all up like there was no tomorrow. Then I got ready to continue southward on my bike. It was going to be a classic case of "eat & run" but Chef G. wasn't quite ready to let me go yet. He wanted to show off some of his cooking awards first. I know I'm a world-class bragger, but Chef G. can outbrag me by a ratio of 10:1.

"And this one is from the year 2021 when my incredible chefery was finally recognized as the best in the world by the most sophisticated eaters known to mankind."

When I finally escaped Chef G.'s kitchen, I decided to explore a little more of the Buddhist temple. I was impressed.

With a tear in my eye, I rode through the gate and looked back at the temple for the last time.

************

The aftermath of yesterday's once-in-a-lifetime Southeast Asian blizzard was evident all the way to Singapore. Even so, I was singing about Singapore all the way. Why sing about Singapore? The significance of Singapore is that I can't easily ride a bike much closer to my next continent (Australia) than that.

The next problem I faced was HOW to get from Singapore to the Land of Oz. I was pretty sure there wouldn't be enough ice on the seas south of Singapore to allow me to continue riding my bike. My problem-solving skills led me to the Singapore Marina, where I hoped to find a boat captain willing to give me a ride.

I asked around all afternoon, but nobody seemed willing to help out a pathetic bike rider with a single pannier that looked like it might explode at any time. Just when I was about ready to give up, I heard a distant voice.

"Aaaaarrrr, matey, I hear ya be lookin' fer a boat ride to the land down under," said the voice.

"I'm Captain Skull, and I'd be willin' to have ya join me crew for the voyage."

"Wow, that would be great!" I may have jumped at the opportunity a little too quickly.

Captain Skull went on to explain the terms of ridership. "First, yer gonna hafta help us drag the ship out of this snowbank. Second, yer gonna start at the bottom. Ya gotta swab the decks. Ya gotta varnish the hull. Ya gotta bring rum to the crew when they get thirsty. And if yer lucky, we'll let ya be a part of the fun stuff."

"Oh yes, I LOVE fun. What's the fun stuff?"

"That's when we pillage merchant marine ships an' take all their treasure for ourselves. Are ya pretty good with a cutlass?"

"No . . . but I'm a fast learner."

************

Surprisingly, I was hired as an apprentice pirate. I was fitted with a fashionable bandana for my head, a patch for my eye, and a hook for my hand.

I agreed to have my hand chopped off for a proper hook fitting. That might have been a mistake, but I took the precaution of packing the hand in snow. I held out hope that Australian surgeons could re-attach it when I got there.

Captain Skull told me to be ready to leave at the rise of the sun. I look forward to a few days of life on the open seas, followed by the neverending sun and warmth of Australia.

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Rich Harrell2 things about Singapore:

NO gum chewing AND don't forget to flush!!!
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1 year ago

Nancy GrahamMy favorite entry yet - because it had me laughing through the entire post Matey! And THAT was a breakfast for your championshipness as well as your piratemateness. Good going on meeting the requirements for the latter.
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1 year ago

Gregory GarceauTo Rich HarrellThanks for the reminder. Not sure, but is that the place where an American guy got "caned' a couple decades ago? He couldn't sit down for a very long time.
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1 year ago

Gregory GarceauTo Nancy GrahamChampionshipness and piratemateness are EXCELLENT words. Well done, Nancy.
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1 year ago

Ron SuchanekNot every cycling tourist would fully commit to the pirate lifestyle for a lift to the next continent by removing his hand and agreeing to swab the decks. But not every cyclist is Greg Garceau.
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1 year ago

Gregory GarceauTo Ron Suchanek"But not every cyclist is Greg Garceau."

You got that right! And the cycling world is much better off for it."
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1 year ago