DAY THREE: WalMart Stealth Camp to Lake Rebecca Wild Camp

January 19, 2024

A Day That Surpassed All Other Days

If it's possible for cartoons to get drunk on Cheetos, Doris and G-2 did it. They woke up with serious Cheeto hangovers. Their Cheeto party in the tent went on until they passed out sometime after midnight.

They managed to rouse themselves out of their stupor, rode across the parking lot to the WalMart, and used the store's restroom to clean up. A couple of store employees gave them dirty looks. "Haven't you ever seen Cheetos fingers before?" shouted Doris.

They slowly got ready to hit the road. They had another 5-mile day (87 human-miles) ahead of them, and they could not afford the luxury of going back to the tent for a couple more hours of sleep. Fortunately, they had some motivation to get going. They had been looking forward to the Mississippi River portion of the tour ever since they began researching route possibilities on Google Cartoon Maps.

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They negotiated icy, windswept roads all the way down to river. Neither one of them even stopped to take a picture until they got to that magnificent, frozen, pillar of industry and tourism. Once they reached the riverside bike trail, however, they pulled out their phones for photographic evidence of their success.

It started with the first video G-2 had ever filmed by himself. Then the two of them took a bunch of timed selfies and a few still photos of each other. They were having a blast being the only bike riders they had seen all day--with the lone exception of one doofy human pedaling a Surly Long Haul Trucker and dressed in bulky layers of clothing.

The pair absolutely LOVED their riverside ramble.

Excited by seeing his first Yellow-headed, Green-winged Cricket Eater yesterday, G-2 had been keeping an eye out for some other rare bird sightings. They were pretty scarce this time of year. G-2 still thought bird watching was pretty cool, but he turned his attention to something a little different: FISH watching. He had one success today, which you'll see in the next frame.

It had been a long day. A few leftover Cheetos were not enough sustenance to keep them going much longer. When they spotted a cheap-looking Italian joint, they agreed to stop in for something to eat. The place was called "Chef G.'s House of Spaghetti."

Chef G. was excited to see his first customers in several days, so he greeted them personally and seated them at the best table in the house.

After striking up a conversation and hearing the cartoon characters telling stories of their adventure so far, Chef G. was inspired to prepare the best gosh darn spaghetti dinner he had ever cooked in his life. He felt he owed it to them.

When dinner was served, G-2 and Doris dug into the carbo-loaded pasta deliciousness. It was so delightful that one could almost say it was a Disney-like moment.

It was the most amazingly romantic Cycleblaze dinner ever. There was the spaghetti kiss. Also, Doris gazed into G-2's eyes. G-2 gazed into Doris's eyes. Doris didn't even notice the spaghetti sauce smeared all over G-2's face. G-2 didn't mind that Doris did almost all the talking. He hung onto every one of her words as if they were elusive butterflies.

Then something magical happened. G-2 got down on bended wheel and asked Doris to marry him.

"Yes! I will marry you," Doris screamed. "Yes, yes, YES!"

"Cool," said G-2, trying to sound really cool about it.

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Before she could change her mind, G-2 suggested they should get married TOMORROW. Doris said she had no intention of changing her mind and it was her idea to go to city hall to get a marriage license right now. "THEN we can get married tomorrow," she said.

They proceeded up the trail, under the Highway 61 bridge, and then to City Hall . . .

. . . where they signed the official marriage license.

From city hall, they backtracked to Lake Rebecca. That's where they pedaled out onto the frozen water and set up their tent.

"Now all we have to do is find a justice of the peace to marry us in a civil ceremony," said Doris.

"Don't worry about that," replied G-2. "I know a guy."

"A guy?" questioned Doris.

"Yes, a guy. Well, not just a guy. The guy is an ordained Church of the Great Outdoors minister . . . or pope . . . or something important like that."

The couple spent their last night as an unmarried couple on the ice of Lake Rebecca.

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Today's ride: 5 miles (8 km)
Total: 88 miles (142 km)

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Rachael AndersonHow romantic!
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3 months ago