I1-2: 朝阳 → 朝阳 - A China Coddiwomple - CycleBlaze

June 8, 2022

I1-2: 朝阳 → 朝阳

It's time to put on makeup!
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I fully intend to start riding again tomorrow morning.

For now, it's off to be interviewed about something other than biking because Free Trade Port policies and my opinion on them as someone who has lived in Hainan for 18 years are apparently a sexier topic than my bike trip¹.

We started by going in through the Inner Gate between the China Daily housing complex where Jen has an apartment and the office building where she works but the Guard insisted that, since I'm a guest, we had to take the Main Gate.

At the Main Gate, the Guard insisted that, even though I was accompanied by two staff members, double swiping the pylon to let me through was absolutely a no go, and I had to register at the Window.

It's time to light the lights
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The woman at the Window took one look at my passport and said "I can't register foreigners, the system doesn't allow it, just tell the Guard to let you in" with a dismissive gesture indicating that the presence of people with Staff Badges ought to have registered on his tiny brain that I was—in fact—allowed in.

Disgruntled by this clearly rule breaking turn of events, he still wouldn't let me in through the access gate (which is only for people with access cards) and—instead—opened the car gate. When things were done two or three hours later, he again refused to let me out the Authorized People gate because I am not an authorized people and his training had very clearly stressed that only one authorized person with an access card is allowed through the turnstile at a time and no double swiping.

It's time to get things started
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After this was all done with, Jen accompanied me to get my required NAT that I'll need for tomorrow's hotel and I accompanied her to a massage place that actually checked our codes to make sure they were live and not screenshots and then wouldn't let me in because my last test was 4 days ago and 3's the limit².

I then ended up annoying the fuck out of the woman who refused me entry by sitting in her vestibule stinking the place up with my farts the entire time Jen was getting a massage, and—even worse—rudely insisting on being allowed to use the customer bathroom rather than risk peeing myself.

Even though all of Beijing only saw 4 positives yesterday, and even though all 4 were from within Closed Areas, they wouldn't accept my proof of being tested as being enough proof
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After many some hours then spent hanging on the sofa at Jen's, it was time for the appropriately named Coddiwomple Crew's Wednesday night ride from Dongzhimen to Dongzhimen followed by the great past time of sitting on the sidewalk in front of 7-11 drinking beers and shooting the shit.

Then, what with waiting till my buzz was sufficiently faded that I felt safe to ride, I didn't get back until 2am.

Not just a phone booth, but a phone booth with a phone that someone appears to be having a conversation on
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Gregory GarceauI think that might be Maxwell Smart--Agent 86--under the Cone of Silence. (Ancient pop culture reference)
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2 months ago
Keith AdamsTo Gregory GarceauI went to exactly that same place, Greg!
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2 months ago
The last (and only previous) time I had a salted alcohol, it was vile. This, on the other hand, was quite nice.
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¹ Clearly, the national news has their priorities wrong.

² I'm more than a wee bit concerned about the results not having yet shown up 13 hours after being tested.

Today's ride: 42 km (26 miles)
Total: 517 km (321 miles)

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