THE FAIRBANK-HAZELTON AMISH CIRCUIT: Life Without Cars and Electricity (And Other Fun Activities)

August 6, 2016

I had a whole day to kill before this evening's class reunion festivities, so I did what I do best--I rode my bike. In addition to the simple enjoyment of riding my bike, today's ulterior motive is to prove to you, once and for all, that Iowa is not boring.

Consider the Amish. If any group of people on earth could get bored of a state, you would think it would be the Amish. They refuse to use cell phones and computers and automobiles and fancy clothing and washing machines and electric lights. They live simple lives of religious observance and hard work. I know if I was required to practice such a lifestyle, I would try to find America's most interesting place to live. That's exactly what the Fairbank-Hazelton Amish community has done. They thrive here. They are not bored. And if the Amish--who have very few modern day conveniences to keep them entertained--aren't bored, why should anybody else be bored in Iowa?

Now THAT'S logic, and you can't argue against logic.

I know I wasn't bored as I pedaled into their territory with my non-motorized transportation machine. I think I fit right in with the Amish culture. Except for my cell phone which I used for taking pictures. And perhaps my shirt was a little too brightly colored by their standards. And I don't think they wear shorts. And my mind wasn't filled with devout beliefs. Other than those minor details, I was one of them.

Here are some highlights from my day as an honorary Amish man:

The Amish don't need big, flashy, professionally-made signs to advertise the fact that they have bunnies for sale. I saw similar signs for eggs and handmade furniture.

Compared to these horse-drawn buggies, my bike is like a rocket. Sure, I'm fast, but I waved to the driver with Amish-like modesty and he waved back.

Even in their cemeteries modesty is the rule. No garish headstones or gaudy monuments here.

One of the few drawbacks to the Amish style of non-motorized travel.

After a couple hours in Amish country I was almost ready to grow a long beard and renounce my addiction to all things electronic. But then I returned to non-Amish farmland and had to check my text messages and take a few pictures with my phone.

Thumbs up to a big field of food for livestock, sweetener for Pop-Tarts, money for farmers, and restrooms for cyclists. Iowa gold!

Today's ride: 17 miles (27 km)
Total: 234 miles (377 km)

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