What a trip!  It wasn't a particularly long trip or majestic trip, but it was definitely a personally satisfying trip, made even more satisfying by the many surprises that resulted from even less planning than the minimal planning I usually plan.  Since my tours aren't of the epic, see-the-world variety, I feel the need to compensate for my lack of international adventure by going blindly into the American night.  For this tour there were no Google Street Views, no research into the history of towns and cities, no advanced motel/campground reservations.  It was just Rand and McNally and ME, flying by the seats of our respective pants.

I know the information contained in the last paragraph will impress nobody.  It might even sound like bragging.  So be it.  

I guess the point I was trying to make can be boiled down to this simple equation:  LITTLE PLANNING = MANY SURPRISES.  Some day I think I'd like to wake up some morning with the sun shining in my window, decide at that moment to go on a two-week bike tour, and be on the road by NOON.

One does not have to be a professional event planner to go on a bike tour.  Just get out there and ride wherever you want (or can afford) to go and see what happens.  Everything you experience will be yours forever--and sometimes those experiences can be quite amazing.  Adventure can be found ANYWHERE, regardless of whether it's close to home or off in foreign lands.

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Oh, sometimes I feel so inspired, so profound.  Other times I feel inspired to expose the shallowness of my profundity.  That brings me to where I get into the "Hypocrisy is Disgusting"  part of my Grand Sweeping Conclusion.  From the very first page of this journal, I've been making a big deal about three things: 1) Minimal Electronics. 2) No Planning. 3) Paper Maps Only.  Now it's confession time. 

Minimal Electronics?  HAH!  While I was in Seattle I bought a small, but powerful, bluetooth speaker.  I envisioned listening to the music I have on my phone to help power me through the boring parts of my trip.  Alas, the boring parts never materialized.    I had never listened to music while pedaling on previous tours and now I can say I still haven't.  But I sure did blast the tunes at every campsite.  Yeah, I'm THAT guy--the obnoxious dude who pulls a couple beers out of his tent bag and cranks up The Clash, Talking Heads, or Pavement while writing in his notebook.  Loud music and ignoring other campers has always been a good formula for keeping visitors at bay.  Sometimes I can be very sociable, but not necessarily when I'm touring.

No Planning?  Yeah, sure!  Along with planning to ride the dotted lines of the Rand-McNally Atlas, to which I've already admitted, I did look ahead to what I wanted to do every few days and then try to determine how long it would take me to get there.  I planned on riding along the Columbia River, seeing the Grand Coulee Dam, and crossing Washington from north to south.  And I definitely planned to spend time in the Palouse, about which I knew almost nothing beyond what I learned in 7th grade Geography class.

Paper Maps Only?  That's a lie!  I broke that rule the minute I posted an on-line map on Page 2 of this journal.  In addition, I consulted the Google Maps app on my phone numerous times en route when I needed to find a library, grocery store, or motel, or when I thought I was lost.  And now I am doing something that I never thought I'd be doing:  I'm going back to each of my pages to post on-line maps of my daily routes.  What a hypocrite.

So yes, I am disgusted with my own hypocrisy.  Yet, even though I am a hypocrite, somehow I feel that voluntarily bringing my hypocrisy out into the open makes me seem a little less hypocritical.

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I'm going to conclude this grand sweeping conclusion with an open letter to the State of Washington.  Personally, I would never do something so inane as to write a letter to a state, but my cartoon alter-ego has no such inhibitions.  The following is a transcript of G-2's weird message:

Dear Washington,

     Thank you for making me feel so welcome while I was there.  As you know, I have visited you several times in the past, but those visits were almost exclusively in Spokane, Seattle, and the two main routes between those cities.  On my recent bike tour, I escaped those highways and explored more of you.  I must say, you were FULL of surprises.
     What other state can transition so quickly from mountain vistas . . . to crystalline riverscapes . . . to high cliffs . . . to deep canyons . . . to midwest-like farmland . . . to hilly fields of golden wheat that extend as far as a cartoon alter-ego can bike in weeks time.
     You had a few other surprises too, didn't you Washington? 

Heart

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     I know you get a lot of cyclists who ride along your Pacific Ocean coastline, and in the mountains of your Cascade Range, and horizontally along the popular Northern Tier, and on your annual tour from Seattle to Portland.  I'm sure those routes are all noteworthy.  Nevertheless, I think you should do a better job of promoting your Inland Empire.  Get your marketing geniuses together to create a brand new advertising campaign.
    May I suggest MY journal as an official guide?  Anybody who follows my (and my nutty alter-ego's) route will be richly rewarded.  Plus it would make us feel more important than we really are.
     If you decide to take up such an Inland Northwest bike tourism campaign, I have a few advertising slogans to submit for your consideration.  I think they will attract cyclists from all over the intelligent world.

• "Our mosquitoes are meek.  They don't swarm and their bites are almost un-noticeable."
• "Sure, we have forest fires in the summer, but they provide interesting visuals and the scent reminds you of a big ol' family barbeque."
• "Washington has milder winds than the Dakotas, less rain than Hawaii, warmer temperatures than Manitoba, less snow than upstate New York, smaller hail than Wyoming, and fewer hurricanes than Florida."
• "One Hundred Four degrees with 20% humidity in Washington feels way better than 90-degrees with 80% humidity in Minnesota.
• "Our citizens might not wave to you from their cars, but they're super-friendly in our convenience stores."
• "Few things in life are finer than a day of biking along Banks Lake or in The Palouse . . . just ask me, G-2."
• "Trucks HAVE to bring produce to market.  Get over it!  You want onions and potatoes and lentils and wheat, don't you?"

      That's all I've got for now, Washington, but feel free to text me if your advertising agency needs some more ideas.  I've got a million of them.

Love,

G-2

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Nice letter, G-2.  Almost as nice as your poem at the beginning of this journal.  

Well, that brings me to the end of my Dotted Lines tour.  It was huge fun, as always.  Thank you for reading.