Columbus, Ohio - The woman who sat on the toilet too long (and other odd American tales) - CycleBlaze

May 15, 2014

Columbus, Ohio

Columbus: striking riverfront, but not typical of the town I saw
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COLUMBUS doesn't disappoint. Where else would you find a larger-than-life statue of Arnie Schwarzenegger, posing rather disturbingly in tiny tights? And what other American city would have thought to recreate an Impressionist painting of Paris - not in oils but in hedges?

The French people preserved for leafy eternity (well, for a long time anyway) are in a park. I have no idea why a man called James Mason should think to plant yew trees and trim them so that they looked like Georges Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon On The Island of La Grande Jatte. But some things don't need to be explained. It is enough that they are there, all 54 humans, eight boats, three dogs, a monkey and a cat.

The posher parts of Columbus can be striking
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And then there's Arnie, bulkily flexing himself for the passing traffic. You may wonder why. And you'd be right to ask. The answer is that he won the Mr World title here and presumably both he and Columbus think that's a good thing.

Not that I saw anything of that. I pass the information on for you, for next time. Personally, I found Columbus about the worst city I've ever ridden through, for the traffic, for the aggressive driving on narrow roads, and for the endless run-down suburbs.

I was told afterwards that there are bike trails through the city. But I didn't see any. Nor did I find a way of escape. I didn't enjoy it; I endured it. Not even the prospect of seeing a frozen Arnie made it worth while. Sorry.

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