May 11, 2013
Day 2: Pootling Around the New Forest
17:30
As we sit in the Oak Inn waiting for Isabelle-not-my-Ex and sister, partner and bother-in-law to arrive, it is time to reflect on a stunning day. It was an early rise this morning - 'early' in camping terms, meaning before midday! Penelope went off for a shower, and so since I had an hour to kill (that just earned me an elbow in the ribs.. hahaha!!), I made a coffee and settled down to enjoy the peace and quiet of the New Forest.
Alas, peace and quiet were to evade me, because this inbred, sister-f*****g, cretinous f**knugget didn't see anything wrong with leaving the engine of his van running for half an hour.
If the noise had been the only issue, then I might well have let it slide, but when the diesel fumes started to sting my nose, I went over and very politely asked him to switch the engine off. He did, but his face was down to his knees as if I'd just asked him to have sex with his mother. Which, all things considered, is a prospect which should have delighted him no end. As you will gather, gentle reader, I am in a bad mood. Well, I'm not really in a bad mood, but the older I get, the less patience I have with inconsiderate retards who think that the universe revolves around their pitiful little life. Penelope said that I was just looking for an excuse to complain, but frankly, in this life, does the thinking man need to look for something to complain about? Once Penelope was back, I went to wash up...
... and we set off for Burley. We were once more dismayed at the performance of the Garmin Edge 800 GPS unit. Penelope had prepared a route beforehand, and I had, following the instructions, placed it into 'Newfiles' on the Garmin. However, it told us to head south, but didn't tell us where to turn off. As a result, we passed Brockenhurst station before it dawned on us that we were going the wrong way. I shall resist the temptation to take a claw hammer to the GPS upon our return to London. On the way, we came across this charming little church, with an orchestral wotsit practicing inside..
We pushed on through quintessentially English scenes...
and eventually did the ten miles or so to Burley.
We plumped for the Burley Inn ...
.. and stuffed our faces until we could barely stand up. Ah, isn't cycle touring great? What do you mean we're not supposed to eat so much the first day??
By this time, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I was on pint n° 3 and so when we left, cycling up the hill out of Burley was not happening. Penelope sailed up it - a feat with which she ribbed me the rest of the day. Eventually, we pulled into the yard of the Oak Inn..
Isn't it charming?
We tethered the horses LHTs outside...
.. and inside we went, to wait for our friends. In the meantime, I had (*cough*) pint n° six, and Penelope had a hot chocolate. What is wrong with her??
Heh .. Eventually, Isabelle-not-my-Ex arrived, and we were introduced to the friends - two of whom I hadn't yet met.
The food was scrumptious. So good, in fact, that I only had time to take this photo of the goat's cheese on toast with pine nuts and salad starter..
The big shocker, though, was the bill at the end. Penelope and I paid around £60 (US$92 / 71 €) for the two of us. I paid a little more, as my alcohol consumption had been pretty impressive. As we rode home, the rain was coming down pretty bad, and south on the A337, we were glad to have very good lights at the back, and quality hi-viz vests. It's very difficult (if not impossible) to describe the ride back, to those who have not experienced similar scenarios. If you have, then you will immediately 'connect' to what we mean. If you haven't, you'll probably think we're inventing the whole thing, but here it is, anyway. We literally could not tell when we were cycling uphill, or downhill - or, even, when the ground was completely flat. That was very strange. We lost all concept of spatial awareness, and before you claim that it was my alcohol intake, Penelope was as sober as a judge, and she felt the same.
We made it back to the campsite safely, and so we drift off to sleep, somewhat sad at having to leave here tomorrow.
Today's ride: 20 miles (32 km)
Total: 34 miles (55 km)
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