Remember that day on the boat leaving Koh Samui when I made nearly $1,000 in a single afternoon? That’s history now.

I should have stopped right there, right when the ferry docked, when the sun was glowing and the trades were clean.  That was the universe giving me a signal: you’ve won, now rest.  But I didn’t listen.  The very next day, I gave it all back and more in one bad trade after another.  Not because the setups were wrong.  Because I was wrong. I wasn’t in the right place or frame of mind to trade.

This city isn’t just loud, it is relentless.  It doesn’t care if you’re trying to rest, recover, or rebuild.  The hotel was supposed to be a temporary base near the Embassy.  Instead, it has become a den of irritation:  twin beds I didn’t ask for,  constant motorbike noise at all hours.  I’ve slept maybe four hours a night since I got here.  Even the white noise app can’t drown it all out.

Then came the brownouts.  the quiet killers.  Every time I started to concentrate, the power would flicker.  AC gone.  You can’t build mental discipline on a foundation that literally shuts off at random.  The brownouts are happening because April and May are literally the two worst months to be in Bangkok, the hottest of the hot season.

And the energy of the people around me?  Obnoxious.  Loud, sweaty tourists who don’t understand space or silence.  Chinese, Korean, white, it doesn't matter they are all annoying.   The opposite of the chill, grounded Thai energy I had down south.  They wander into cafés shouting, crowding, vaping.  It’s not their fault.  But they’re part of the static now.

Even the trading system I developed is is falling apart.I know I shouldn’t trade outside 2–5pm.  I know not to force setups.  I know the rules.But when your sleep is wrecked, your body off rhythm, your nerves fried and you're forced to sit around waiting for the power to come back on, knowing doesn't mean doing.

The worst part is I’m stuck here.  I surrendered my passport. I can’t move until the new one arrives in 4 to 6 weeks, if I’m lucky.  The Embassy in Bangkok processed it without flagging any damage, a small miracle in a system that usually eats people alive.  But now I’m grounded, in a city that feels like it’s slowly siphoning off my edge.

I have to get strategic again.  This place is not where clarity lives.  It has also become too clear:  city life no longer works for me.

The noise, the crowds, the pollution, the interruptions - I’m not built for it anymore.  Not after the quiet roads of Narathiwat and the chilled-out sanity of Koh Samui.  Bangkok feels like it's trying to break me down cell by cell.

So I’m trying to assess my options.  Could I move to the Sananwan Palace in the outer edge of the city, my usual fallback?  Technically yes.  They’d let me stay without a passport since I’ve been there before.  But that would mean giving up one of the only good things I still have here in this location:  gym classes at F45.   The gym is literally around the corner.And right now, it's the only thread holding me together.

A 45-minute HIIT session is better therapy than hours of white-knuckling trades or grinding through street noise.Do I really want to spend hours biking to and from here each way in this insane heat in the April and May hottest of the hot season just to chase a quieter hotel?   Not today.

What about Pattaya?  Forget it.  I love the place, but try checking into any hotel there without a passport.  It’s a tourism machine.  The rules are strict, the staff are scared. 

Eventually, yes, I’ll go back to Koh Samui.  No one down there cares if you travel without a passport.  No, really.  The island operates on its own frequency,  and I’d blend back in just fine,  passport or not.  But it doesn’t make sense to go now.  Not until I’ve maxed out what Bangkok still offers: Embassy proximity, gym access, and a tiny pocket of structure.

The hotel still sucks. That hasn’t changed.But I can’t switch hotels in Bangkok, not without a passport to show.  Even trying for a refund on the remaining nights? No passport, no go.

The only thing I can possibly do is ask to change rooms, maybe to a quieter floor or one with a better bed. Since I used the passport to check in, maybe I can use that same entry to move around within the building.

So that’s the mission for now:    survive Bangkok another week, maximize the gym, stuck to my trading system and the hours I set up, minimize the noise, and if I'm lucky, get a better damn room

At least one pivotal good thing happened on a shitty day:   I finally followed through on my stop losses.

That might not sound like much.  But for an emerging trader with prop firm ambitions, this is the game.  Not the flashy wins. Not the perfect entries. But the ability to say:  “I’m down 2%. I’m done. That’s it.”

And mean it.  And stop for the day.  Even when your ego is screaming to earn it back.Even when the heat and the noise and the frustration of the hotel make you want to trade out of emotion.

It happened so fast, because it always does.You blink, and the day’s drawdown limit is gone.  If I hadn’t pulled the plug then and there, I would’ve spiraled. I know myself well enough now to see that coming.

If I’m going to make it with a prop firm — and I will — then this habit is non-negotiable.It’s not a feature. It’s the foundation.

I may be stuck in a bad hotel.I may be operating at 60% sleep and 40% frustration.But I’m still learning. Still adapting.