An R-Rated Journal Page

May 3, 2015

Pittsfield, Illinois

I have a friend, who we'll call J., who has texted me a couple of times this week telling me my journal is too G-Rated. He has accused me of this before when I've shared my handwritten journals of our backpacking trips out west. "We drink and swear and make off-color jokes all the time, but you never put any of that stuff in your journals," he says. "I want to see everything, EVERYTHING, in those journals."

J. was featured in one of the days in last year's journal. He's the guy who showed me the REAL Pike's Peak in Iowa, not that ersatz Pike's Peak in Colorado. I must say, he has an uncanny ability to find R-Rated visions in clouds, rock formations, mountains, profiles of cactii, even stars in the sky. One of the most memorable, even though it wasn't R-Rated, was when he pointed at a cloud in Wyoming's Bighorn Canyon and said:

"G., what does that look like to you?"

"I don't know, J., just a cloud."

"Look closer. Doesn't it look like Jesus smoking a pipe?"

I don't know if it was the power of suggestion or what, but I cried out, "UNBELIEVABLE! It IS Jesus smoking a pipe!"

You should see what J. can find in the phallic rock formations of eastern Utah. So, J., this page is for you.

Both the "nut" and the "wood" are ripe for double entendres. I could make up a story about the origin of the name of this town, but that would be X-Rated and would probably get me kicked off of this website.

My route today followed the Illinois River via the "Meeting of the Rivers Scenic Byway." It was an excellent ride with great views and several nice towns of fewer than 500 people. It mostly followed the floodplain of the river, but at the town of Pearl it rose into the bluffs and provided a few miles of hilly terrain. As I spun up one of the biggest hills, I saw an elderly woman picking up trash along the road. In one of my rare outgoing moments I shouted out to her, "I really admire what you're doing to keep the highway looking good."

"Thank ya," she said through her toothless mouth.

The Illinois River from the Hardin bridge. There's something I love about the presence of water.

Even the brown water in a photo I took by mistake.

When I took a short break to drink some water and eat some almonds, I saw this turkey which was free to roam around the yard. It came to the road to check me out.

The town has less than 5,000 people, but Pittsfield is the county seat. The Pike County Courthouse stands out majestically. J., I'm afraid to ask what you see in this.

Today's ride: 61 miles (98 km)
Total: 1,044 miles (1,680 km)

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