October 17, 2024
D23: 雄安新区 → 高阳 (双语)
| Heart | 0 | Comment | 0 | Link |
I'm pretty sure I breakfast on oatmeal in the room. Enough days have gone by that I don't actually remember for certain. In any case, I've stayed at enough hotels in this price bracket to know that anything they have available to eat downstairs isn't going to be anything I want to eat.
Considering how happy I am to eat noodles and a fried egg from the sketchiest of market stalls, it seems counterintuitive that even the second-tier five-star international hotels I've been staying at more and more often as part of media work don't have breakfasts that I want to eat. However, as anyone who works in hospitality will tell you, although buffets provide an apparent cornucopia of options (and associated cornucopia of wasted food), they are used by large hotels because they are one of the cheapest possible ways to make and serve food.
我应该自己在房间吃了燕麦片当早餐。时间太久了，我其实又不太确定。但不管怎样，住过这么多同价位酒店后我发现，楼下提供的早餐根本不合我胃口。
虽说我连路边摊的面条配煎蛋都吃得很香，但作为媒体工作者，我住过很多二线五星级国际酒店，我对它们的早餐总提不起兴趣，这看似矛盾，实则不然。酒店从业者都知道，自助餐虽然有琳琅满目的选择（伴随大量食物浪费），但实际却是大酒店最省钱的供餐方式。
No matter how ugly the kitchen is at a market stall, or how blackened the wok is with smoke and grease, the egg that was fried to order 35 seconds ago is going to taste better than the one that was made ten minutes ago by someone who is frying twenty eggs at once using those cute little heart-shaped "perfect sunny side up egg" thingyhoojers. It won't be swimming in grease; it won't be dry; the bits that are supposed to be crispy will be crispy; and the bits that are supposed to be runny will be runny. This is just a basic fact of life.
Not wanting never very good sliced white bread that's been gently warmed by something pretending to be a toaster (and that may or may not have the option of being accompanied by packets of jam or low-quality butter), I find that the chafing trays full of fried noodles which once had some chopped meat waved in their general direction also appeal to me about as much as the “slicced seasonal fruit” or the hot milk made with half-strength reconstituted milk powder.
无论路边摊的厨房多简陋、铁锅被油烟熏得多黑，35秒前现点现煎的鸡蛋，永远比批量生产的“爱心形溏心蛋”好吃——不油腻、不干柴，该脆的地方脆，该流心的地方流心，这是生活的基本真理。
我不想吃被“伪烤面包机”温过的普通切片白面包（可能搭配廉价果酱或黄油包），也对保温盘里象征性撒过肉末的炒面、季节性切果盘、兑了半罐奶粉的热牛奶毫无兴趣。
| Heart | 0 | Comment | 0 | Link |
Contrast this with the known quality of oatmeal and flavor d'jour (which, this year, has almost entirely been milk powder and raisins, instead of anything fancy) that I've got in my panniers and it's easy to understand why, if I ate breakfast at all, I ate it in my room.
Heading downstairs, I'm met by a somewhat chaotic scene that's about 85% high school students who probably have no experience traveling in large groups and 15% adults who have embraced the mantra of "when in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout."
相比之下，我驮包里的燕麦片和每日风味（今年几乎全是奶粉加葡萄干，毫无新意）反而更有吸引力。这就是为什么即便吃过早餐，我应该在房间解决。
下楼时，眼前一片混乱：85%没什么集体出行经验的高中生，还有15%的成年人，他们秉持“一遇难题，原地转圈，嗷嗷叫唤”的原则。
It's immediately apparent to me and the bus driver that there's no way in hell my bike is going to be fitting in the under bus luggage compartment. If this had been looking like an event that I really, really wanted to go to, or if anyone other than the woman who had tried so hard to guilt me into sharing a room with her the night before hadn't been the first person to say to the bus driver "it's fine, she can put the bike in the aisle," I might have tried to put the bike in the aisle of the bus.
As it is, although I am uncertain how firm the traffic police are on the "no mixing cargo with passengers" rules or if bicycles even count as cargo, the bus driver and I exchanged silent glances that showed that—even with only having met him a few minutes before—she'd also managed to do something to get under his skin and we both blamed "regulations" for why this was absolutely something that simply couldn't be done¹.
我和司机一眼就看出，自行车根本塞不进大巴下面的行李箱。如果这是我特别想去的活动，或者不是前一晚试图道德绑架我拼房的女人率先对司机说“没事，她可以把车放过道”，我或许会试试。
但此刻，尽管不确定交警对“客货混装”的规定有多严格也不知道自行车算不算货，我和司机交换的眼神已经说明——即便刚认识几分钟，我们都被那女人惹烦了，于是默契地以“规定不允许”为由拒绝了她¹。
| Heart | 0 | Comment | 0 | Link |
I still joined the event for the morning's activities including a number of episodes of Standing In Front of Things Being Photographed, a Tree Planting, a Display of Incredible Skills related to the event, a Display of Incredible Skills with no relationship to the event, and some displays of decidedly not incredible skills.
If I was in Hainan on a similar bus heading to a similar selection of Places and Things I Don't Find Interesting, I would probably be more proactive about trying to correct or educate the people on the bus who were making snarky comments, but the nominal amount that I cared (which wasn't much in the first place) was highly discounted by the fact that this would mean talking to teenagers².
我还是参加了上午的活动，包括“景点打卡拍照”“植树”“活动相关技能展示”“活动无关的技能展示”以及“毫无亮点的技能展示”。
如果是在海南，面对类似的无聊行程，我可能会更主动纠正车上阴阳怪气的人，但一想到要和青少年²，仅存的一点热情也消失了。
| Heart | 0 | Comment | 0 | Link |
One of the things anyone going on a junket has to realize is that the other people you meet at the event is the reward for attending all the frustrating and cringeworthy stuff that makes the organizers happy.
This is why, even when there's no chance of us going anywhere that's new³ for me⁴, I still go on the trips in Hainan and get photographed "having a good time."
参加媒体或者政府之旅的人必须明白：忍受所有让主办方开心但让人尴尬的环节，也是有所回报的，那就是认识其他参加活动的人。
这就是为什么即便去的地方毫无新意³，我还是会在海南⁴的活动中配合拍照“露出开心笑容”。
But, no matter how interesting the brain games club they belong to is, I don't need or want or have any interest in networking with high school students from California or their teachers. I've also been put in the awkward position of the manager⁵ of the person who invited me along having decided for some very complicated reason that their boss should be told that she is the person who invited me and it's just a totally random coincidence that I happened to discover after the fact that she's coworkers with someone I've known for 20 years.
不过，无论他们加入的“脑力游戏俱乐部”有多有趣，我都没兴趣——也不想、更没必要去认识那些加州的高中生或他们的老师。更尴尬的是，邀请我参加的人的经理⁵，不知出于什么复杂原因，让老板以为是她邀请了我——而我事后才发现，她和我认识20年的朋友是同事，这纯属巧合。
| Heart | 0 | Comment | 0 | Link |
Knowing that I'm going to be leaving shortly after lunch, I manage to make it all the way through the Opening Ceremony without telegraphing to the world that I Do Not Want To Be Here. However, this is primarily the case because someone sent me work that allowed me to both ignore the ceremony and the snarky comments the high school students (who have not yet learned to feign polite interest) were making⁶.
Going our separate ways after the meal, I am completely unsurprised to discover that a place nowhere near anything and named "XYZ New Area" has all the non-existent charm of suburban Shenzhen. The bike paths are reasonably well maintained though, and were built with a good buffer zone between them and the car road so I'm able to get lots of distance at a very good pace.
明知午饭后就可以离开，我还是撑完了开幕式，且没让任何人看出我“不想待在这里”——主要还是因为有人给我派了活儿，让我既能无视仪式，又能屏蔽高中生们那些吐槽（这群孩子显然还没学会假装礼貌性兴趣）。
饭后分道扬镳，我毫不意外地发现，这个名为“XX新区”的偏远之地，和深圳郊区一样有魅力。不过自行车道维护得不错，与机动车道有缓冲带，我得以畅快骑行。
| Heart | 0 | Comment | 0 | Link |
This is good because tomorrow's weather forecast calls for cold rain and I really want to get down to the interesting places where I know what's cool before the TV crew arrives.
Because, in the nicest possible way of I really do like Hebei and the people in Hebei and the food in Hebei, the North China Plain has got to be one of the most boring places on the planet. Surely, when it comes to architecture, there are uninhabited deserts that are more interesting than the NCP.
这很好，因为明天预报有冷雨，我想赶在摄制组到来前抵达真正有意思的地方。
说句真心话（我真的喜欢河北人和食物），华北平原大概是地球上最无聊的地方之一。要论建筑多样性，恐怕无人沙漠都比它更有看头。
Dividing the possible hotels in town into cheap, mid, and normal tiers (there is no expensive), I pick the "highest of the low" not because that's usually⁸ where you'll get good service but because the online platform shows an elevator in photos that rather definitely aren't this hotel.
It doesn't matter though as the owner and her father are fine with letting me keep my bike locked up in their garage cum storage room at the back of the courtyard. They also let me do my laundry, during which time I find out all about why someone who had been running a small guesthouse for over 30 years had been both knowledgeable of "how to register a foreigner" and apprehensive of getting it right for the first ever foreigner she or anyone she knew had ever registered.
把镇上的酒店分为“廉价”“中端”“普通”三档（没有高端），我选了“廉价档天花板”——不是因为这层的服务好⁸，而是订房平台的後来发现不是这家店的照片有了电梯。
不过没关系，老板和她父亲让我把自行车锁在院子后的车库兼储藏室，还允许我洗衣服。洗衣时我得知，这位经营小旅馆30多年的老板娘，第一次接待外国人，既清楚“如何登记外宾”的流程，又担心出错——毕竟她和身边人从未接触过外国人。
| Heart | 0 | Comment | 0 | Link |
The day after the Laiyuan County PSB crossed provincial borders to come looking for me and try to get me to take my video down, this county (which is in the same Shi) held a training class for all the hotel owners "you know how we've been telling you since forever that you can't take foreigners? Forget all that. This is what you do if a foreigner shows up."
就在涞源县公安局跨省找上门、求我删除视频的第二天，同市的另一个县给所有酒店老板办了场培训：“以前总说不能接待外国人？现在全忘了。如果有外国人来，按这个流程办。”
--
¹ Given how often I grouse about hotels blaming their not wanting the hassle of checking a foreigner in on nonexistent special regulations, I am absolutely 110% aware that I'm being a hypocrite. But, I like, really really realllllly didn't want to.
¹我常吐槽酒店用实在不存在的“特殊规定”推脱接待外宾，现在自己却要搞双标，我110%承认这很虚伪。但我真的真的真的不想把车放过道啊
² I left education for many reasons. This is one of them.
² 我离开教育行业的原因之一
³ Oh look, it's another Long Table Banquet in Maona Village, again.
³瞧吧，又是毛纳村的长桌宴，老花样了
⁴ Being allowed to stand on the tracks and watch the train get disassembled to be put on the train ferry is worth at least three more visits to Binlanggu and Monkey Island.
⁴ 再去三次槟榔谷和猴岛可有一次站在铁轨上看火车拆解后装上轮渡还值得
⁵ Yes, the same woman who tried to guilt me into sharing a hotel room with her
⁵ 没错，就是那个试图道德绑架我拼房的女人
⁶ Didn't help that these comments were all either things I agreed with them on or things that would have required a twenty minute lecture to correct
⁶ 这些吐槽要么我完全认同，要么得花二十分钟科普才能纠正
⁷ Someone in the WeChat group suggested it might be caused by a failure to put in expansion joints
⁷ 微信群里有人猜测，可能是没装伸缩缝导致的
⁸ And, as both the only place I stayed at under 50y this Tour and the only place since Gansu to have an A rating from the Health Department, I'm going to call this a Big Win.
⁸ 作为这次行程中唯一低于50元的住宿，也是甘肃之后唯一获卫生部门A级评级的地方，必须算一大胜利
Today's ride: 59 km (37 miles)
Total: 1,485 km (922 miles)
| Rate this entry's writing | Heart | 0 |
| Comment on this entry | Comment | 0 |