Paradise City

August 14, 2019

Take me down to the paradise city/Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty/Take me home (oh won't you please take me home) Guns N‘ Roses

Impatient to be home, and with a long and pretty uninteresting (strike that; quite uninteresting) ride ahead of us, we get our earliest start of the tour - down to the hotel lobby for breakfast at six, and on the road at 8. Three miles later, we’re crossing the state line on the Longview Bridge, with massive nonstop traffic streaming past our left shoulder and the Columbia River a dizzying two hundred feet below.

On the Oregon side, we join Highway 30 and head up the river toward Portland, 50 miles away. Rachael and I have ridden home from Kelso at least five times by now, but this is only the second time following Highway 30 - the first was on the one time that we rode the organized STP event. It’s by far the most direct and physically easiest route, but also the least aesthetic. The other times, we have climbed up the hill west of the bridge and taken the high, beautiful route through Apiary, Vernonia and Banks. It’s long though - at least 70 miles to the MAX station in Hillsboro - and involves a fair amount of climbing.

Today though, we don’t care that much for aesthetics and just want to get home the fastest way. And besides, with my lowest chainring out of commission, I wouldn’t be making it over the top without a lot of walking.

Surprisingly, this is the first significant tour we have taken that ended at home. That’s in a way pretty exciting and motivating, and it helps keep us moving to be able to check off familiar landmarks as we get within a day’s ride of the city.

There’s Rocky Point Road! Let’s climb it and ride in on the high route along Skyline Boulevard. Heh, heh. I feint to start up its four mile, 8% climb, but the Straggler refuses. Disappointing, but what can you do with a balky ride?

There’s Sauvie Island! Newberry Road! The Saint John’s Bridge! So close now!

But, it’s not enough. Even with fair conditions, a bit of a tailwind, and all that homecoming rush, it’s still just a 50 mile slog down a busy, noisy, highway. It’s a wonder to me that folks keep signing up year after year for the STP, and ride down this stretch over and over.

We make the best of it though and finish the tour strong, biking steadily with almost no photo breaks and only a brief stop in Scappoose for another submarine sandwich. We keep a fair pace, post the best average for whole tour, and arrive in Portland at 2 before the day gets too warm for comfort. Once in town we each go our separate ways for a while - I bike over to Bruce and Andrea’s to pick up Old Paint, while Rachael runs a few errands and checks us into our Airbnb of the moment. For dinner we celebrate the completion of another successful tour at Justa Pasta, savoring the best meal we’ve seen since leaving Port Angeles.

Image not found :( — The Longview Bridge isn’t that scary, really. Decent shoulder, high railing. Just ignore the log trucks, watch out for the trash in your lane, and don’t look down.

Are we there yet? Almost - just 48 more miles on this highway.

Video sound track: Paradise City, by Guns N’ Roses

It’s not all busy highway riding today. We did get this nice break on Lindbergh Road - for about a mile and a half.

This is actually a pretty ride in spots, with small cliffs and wetlands like this one - but it’s hard to appreciate the scenery with the constant traffic to focus on.

Well, now are we there yet? Almost. Just ten more miles of highway and a few miles of neighborhoods. Go back to your computer game.

Last nature note of the tour. Bonus attaboy points for the first correct identification.

Now? Pretty close, alright. The Hawthorne Bridge certainly seems like home to me.

This, though. This feels like the real thing.

Let’s celebrate! With lamb lasagna and bucatini with prawns.

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Ride stats today: 59 miles, 1,400’; for the tour: 1,155 miles, 52,000’

Today's ride: 59 miles (95 km)
Total: 1,155 miles (1,859 km)

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Steve Miller/GrampiesHooray!
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4 years ago

John PescatoreI did the STP for the first time this year and the Rt. 30 slog at the end was my least favorite stretch, by far - but comes at the point where you just want the shortest way back, anyway!

One thing I noticed was the shoulders on that stretch seem to never be swept (I guess why locals call it "Dirty 30") or at least hadn't been in a long time before STP, where the equivalent highway shoulders in WA were nearly immaculate during the STP, at least.

Great writeup!
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4 years ago

Bill ShaneyfeltBeen quite the tour! Thanks for all the nature photos!
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4 years ago

Jen RahnYou've given us some great ideas for rides not-so-far from home.

Thanks once again for all the time and energy you put into your blog posts.

Your journals are an inspiration and I can't wait for the virtual tour of Spain!!
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4 years ago