Mancunian men: Mean mulberry massacres - The Really Long Way Round - CycleBlaze

June 4, 2014

Mancunian men: Mean mulberry massacres

We all camped together in a grassy field. Having cycled with Gabor for nine days before, Gayle and John were adamant that they didn't really want to cycle with him anymore because they had to spend such a long time waiting for him to get ready. It seemed like they had been having quite a hard time of it shaking him off though. Regardless of what they tried, he always seemed to reappear soon behind them. But at nine in the morning we had four loaded bikes and a tent, and there was no way they were going to wait for him. "He's still got to polish his tent pegs" Gayle said, and we were off.

Gabor (who from this photo I have decided will be played by Bluto off of Popeye) appeared very much to be stalking Gayle and John
Heart 2 Comment 0

The scenery got better and better the further we went, as we climbed up over a pass with mountains on either side. The valleys were lush and green, the sky a beautiful blue, it was fantastic.

The scenery was a bit special. So was John.
Heart 3 Comment 0

Gayle was out ahead and I was cycling close to John when we saw Gayle pull a U-turn and head back towards a group of kids at the side of the road. "It was that one! Get him John! That one there. He threw a rock at me!"

We were both shocked by the incident and John pulled over to the boy that Gayle was angrily pointing at and confronted him. John is from Manchester but his accent is not usually very noticeable, but at this moment he spoke with an overwhelmingly strong Mancunian accent, saying "you wanna f*ck off mate!" to the kid. It was said with such a strong Mancunian accent that I think John will have to be played by Liam Gallacher in the movie. He doesn't look anything like Liam Gallacher, but I don't know anyone else who could say "you wanna f*ck off mate" in such an accent. Except maybe Noel Gallacher. To be honest I don't know which is which. It doesn't matter. John was very angry. So was Gayle. For my part I stopped and bravely stood well away on the other side of the road. There were seven or eight kids, and only three of us. Two if you don't count me, and you shouldn't. If it had all kicked off I would have boldly helped out by cycling off to look for Gabor. Strength in numbers and all that. And he's tall. Luckily the young offender understood Mancunian very well and just ran away.

Rob racing a Lada
Heart 2 Comment 0
Things Tajik men like to do #89 - Fill in potholes with dirt and a shovel, while wearing a suit
Heart 3 Comment 0

Gabor soon caught us up.

The road got a bit busy sometimes
Heart 3 Comment 0
Things Tajik men like to do #624 - Pump up a car tyre with a hand pump
Heart 1 Comment 0

We were climbing gradually up through a valley and it was beautiful, the sun was shining and I had great company. We didn't do too much distance, taking long lunch breaks to avoid the worst of the days' heat. One day we chose the shade of a mulberry tree for our siesta and whilst the others snoozed I came up with another brilliant idea for a game. The dismal and infamous failure of my magnificent invention 'Pine Cone Wars' during my time cycling with Dr Dave made me decide against trying to play this with my new companions. There were also no pine cones. But there were mulberries. Lots of them. And so 'Mulberry Wars' was born. I excitedly explained the rules to everyone which can be briefly summarised as 'we throw mulberries at each other.' I received a mixed reaction, ranging all the way from unenthusiasm to indifference. I really wished the eight-year-old Gabriel was still with us. He would have loved my game. Naturally I played 'Mulberry Massacre' by myself and just threw mulberries at the boring old fogies. I felt this brought us closer together as a group.

Friends forever in the inspirational scenery
Heart 2 Comment 0
"Are you inspired Gabor?"
"Yes Rob, I'm inspired, are you inspired?"
"Yes Gabor, I'm inspired"
Heart 3 Comment 0
Another cosy little campsite. "Maybe we should slash his tyres in the night" I thought I might have overheard from the next tent.
Heart 3 Comment 0

04/06/14 - 65km

05/06/14 - 41km

Heart 3 Comment 0

Today's ride: 106 km (66 miles)
Total: 20,266 km (12,585 miles)

Rate this entry's writing Heart 4
Comment on this entry Comment 0