CAPPADOCIA!!!: What a day! (Warning: Not suitable for work!)

March 5, 2014

I woke at dawn because I wanted to see the hot air balloons which fly over Cappadocia at sunrise. I had a quick look around the area where I had slept, which was in a place apparently sometimes called 'Imagination Valley.' There were certainly some imaginative shapes in the weird rocks and a good deal of imagination gone into the caves which were carved into many of them.

I cycled towards and past an area called Zelve where there was an open air museum, but it didn't open until eight and it was still before seven, and along the way I stopped and saw what appeared to be a church carved into another rock pinnacle. The cave was much, much larger than the one where I had slept and had something like an altar at the end.

I went past Pasabag which was also empty and deserted and then crested a small hill and started seeing hot air balloons flying over the valley to my left. One, two, three, a million of them. A sunrise flight over Cappadocia is the thing to do here, assuming you are a tourist with a lot more money than me (and less strict rules about flying.)

The main road was a dangerous place to be, with minibuses chasing after the balloons ready to pick up the tourists wherever they may land, but it was okay because there were a lot of little sandy roads criss-crossing the landscape that I could cycle on (I assume these exist largely as a means for retrieving wayward balloons.) I headed in the direction that most of the balloons had been flying over and soon found my way into another valley of incredible rock pinnacles. Here are some pictures:

An information board informed me that this area was known as 'Love Valley' because of the 'slightly phallic' rock formations. Personally I think a better name would be 'Leaves-Nothing-To-The-Imagniation Valley.' Slightly phallic? Come on! Seriously, look at this:

I'm pretty sure my account is going to be deleted for posting pornography on my blog. Relax, its only a rock, honest, just a bıg rock! These structures are actually known as 'Fairy Chimneys' which I assume must be a mistranslation, somebody obviously getting the words for fairy and giant mixed up, and the words for chimney and penis.

One good thing to come out of all this is that if God really did create the Earth, at least this proves that He has a sense of humour. 'I know,' he must have thought to himself, 'I'll hide a load of giant penis away down here in this valley, and lets see how long it takes mankind to find it, and then turn it into a tourist attraction.'

Good work, God. One of your finer creations

I left Love Valley and cycled back to Zelve to visit the open air museum. I was secretly rather pleased to find I was the only one there. For some reason I really hate tourists when I come to places like this. It was particularly great to have it to myself because it turned out to be one of the absolute most extraordinary places that I had ever seen. Simply put, it was the ruins of an old town, all the buildings of which were entirely carved from the rock face. It filled three small valleys of pale orange cliffs and had a mill, several churches and a winery. Many of the 'buildings' had several floors, with stairways carved in the rock too. I mean, just an incredible place.

Inside a church, note the cross carved on the roof

People lived here until as recently as 1952 as well, when they were evacuated on safety grounds. A shame really, to be forced to move from the most stunning place to live in the world. "But this is the most beautiful home in the world," they must have said, "and our ancestors have lived here for a thousand years." And their evacuators must have looked at them and said "Yeah but, you know, health and safety and all that."

In fact it is so dangerous that they still let tourists in, as long as you pay of course

After Zelve I stopped off at Pasabag for a quick look around, even though it was crawling with tourists with cameras around their necks. The funny thing was that the fairy chimneys and scenery here was much less impressive than in Love Valley, where there had been no tourists. Less impressive maybe, but this place was right by the road so it made much more sense for the tourists because, you know, easy for the buses to stop.

Pasabag - more tourists. And more giant penises

I hadn't planned to stop long but I went up to a lookout point above Pasabag and then I saw a trail going up the mountainside and I followed it for a bit, initially just to get away from some Germans. The view kept getting better so I kept going on and on along this trail. Then I thought I'd be able to see the other side of the valley, towards Goreme, if I just went a bit further, so I did. And then I saw ahead another village carved in the rock, which was above the town of Cavusin and which I had seen earlier from the road. I wanted to go to it, so I figured I might as well walk to it now.

I arrived at the top of the 'village.' It wasn't really a village though, more a series of caves carved into the rock in a tier system more like a tower block. I climbed down a bit and found an incredible church. Then I looked for a way down to the next level, but there was no way. I walked back and forth several times but could see no way down. At that point an old tourist woman on the next level down who had climbed up from the bottom saw me and before I could escape she asked me how I had got up there. I told her that I didn't want to talk to any tourists. No I didn't, that would have been rude of me, I told her I had come from the top and there was no way between these levels. Fortunately she disappeared back down to Cavusin.

I wanted to go down because I needed to get a drink from Cavusin and then I could walk back to my bike at Pasabag by a different route. If I couldn't get down I'd have to walk back the way I came without water. But there really was no way to get down safely so I'd pretty much resigned myself to the long walk back by the mountain route. Then an old tourist man who had been hiking on the cliffside too appeared and started talking to me about how it was impossible to get down. He was really trying to be friendly. If neither of us could get down we were going to have to hike back together. Me and a tourist. Oh, it would be horrible! I distracted him by telling him he really should go and look in the church and then I made a frantic attempt to slide down to the next floor at a place where it really wasn't safe. I reached down for a foot hold that wasn't there, very nearly lost my balance and broke my neck, luckily didn't, and managed somehow to slide/jump down. The old man reappeared and said "oh, you found a way down?" "Yes I did, but I wouldn't recommend it."

I walked back to my bike via a more flat route and more incredible sights. Here are some more pictures:

Next I cycled up above ~~Penis~~ Love Valley to a lookout point. The cycle up was tough but it was worth it, because the views were breathtaking. Beyond the slightly phallic giant penises was a vista of amazing awesomeness. It was so good, I mean, I don't think there is a word for it. We'd have to invent a new word. Something that means more awesome than awesome. I can't really describe it, I think the best thing is if I just show you another picture.

View over Love Valley - spot the snow-covered volcano far in the distance

By now Cappadocia had basically proven itself to be more awesome than awesome in just about every way. By the way I think the word should be hypermagnifitastic. Ok, yeah, lets try that. By now Cappadocia had proven itself to be hypermagnifitastic in just about every way. I was exhausted from how hypermagnifitastic the whole day had been, with the hypermagnifitastic scenery and everything. I couldn't believe that there was still more.

I cycled on to Goreme, which was the town at the centre of the whole thing, where all the tourists were. I thought it would be just a tourist town, but it was amazing, because there were lots of fairy chimneys and the town was built in between them. A lot of these pinnacles were inhabited, or had buildings built on to them or between them. It looked like a fariy tale. It was essentially the most incredible looking town I'd ever seen.

Beyond Goreme was Goreme open air museum, around which there were an awful lot of tourists. The road was very steep uphill and there was nothing I could do to avoid them any longer. An Austrian couple spoke with me and I was forced to have a pleasant conversation with them, during which I realised that tourists are people too and I remembered also that I rather liked Austria and that Austrians were nice. They told me that the museum wasn't that great, and I could see the same thing on the other side of the road for free. The museum wasn't appealing to me all that much anyway, as I could see it was similar to Zelve but cost twice as much money and had a hundred times more tourists. So I followed the Austrians advice and looked at the caves on the other side of the road for free.

And on the other side of the road for free! Things to search for in this picture - a girl flashing a lot of leg and a man about to jump on top of her

The road up from Goreme was absurdly steep. At the top I stopped and spoke with some Chinese tourists and decided finally once and for all that tourists were okay. They were very nice and took my picture, and then I cycled away from Cappadocia. It had been an incredible day, truly magnificent. I honestly had never before seen such amazing scenery anywhere apart from maybe in some National Parks in the western United States, but the incredible homes and churches carved into the rock was truly something else. Cappadocia, you are really hypermagnifitastic!

Today's ride: 35 km (22 miles)
Total: 14,083 km (8,746 miles)

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