RAPID CITY, SOUTH DAKOTA: Into the Weird Zone

August 30, 2017

I was leisurely drinking my second cup of coffee when I heard a roll of thunder from the west. I looked in that direction and saw a darkening sky. That happened last night too, but nothing came of it. Even so, it looked a little more ominous this morning. I chugged my coffee and packed up as quickly as I could. Within a half-hour I was rolling away from my site, intending to outrace the storm.

Instead of getting back on the shoulder-less Highway 385, I decided to take a gravel Forest Service road out to Highway 16, which, I was pretty sure would be mostly a downhill thrill ride out of the Black Hills and into Rapid City. The gravel road appeared to be a short cut, though I knew the slower surface would probably make it a wash, time-wise.

My decision making skills aren't always very good, but this time I immediately started feeling pretty damn smart. I did not see another car the entire distance, but I saw five deer and lots of black cows wandering up and down the hillsides. Some of the cows were MOOOOOO-ing at the top of their lungs.

The short cut was supposed to be four miles long, but it seemed like it took a lot more time than four miles should. That probably had less to do with the gravel, and more to do with the long uphill struggle at the end. When I finally reached pavement again, I could see I was losing ground in my race with the storm.

The gravel road was actually pretty well surfaced.

A SPECIAL TOURING TIP FROM G-2: "When crossing the many cattle grates in the Black Hills, be sure to take them straight on. Anything less could be catastrophic to your front wheel . . . and/or your body."

Looking back, the dark clouds are catching up to me.

Looking ahead doesn't look too promising either.

I was right about Highway 14 being a fast exit from the Black Hills. There were a couple more climbs, but it was predominantly down, down, down into the hazy heat of the Great Plains.

I don't know for sure if it was my incredible cycling speed, some kind of unexplainable climatological stuff, or pure luck, but I never saw any rain. What I DID see were the hyper-touristy attractions that bring hundreds of thousands of visitors to the Black Hills region.

Apparently the National Forest Service prohibits billboards and other tourist hype, but once you get near Rapid City all restrictions are off and you'll be assaulted by the kinds of things you'll see in the next few pictures. Have fun!

South Dakota Wine? Christmas Village? NFL Shop?

Hi! It's me interrupting my own photo montage. This is an observation that does not appear in my original Crazyguyonabike blog, but I feel compelled to comment on the South Dakota wine industry. For some reason, I think of the term "South Dakota Wine" as an oxymoron--like Minnesota Bananas. Arkansas Vichissoise. Florida carp Sushi. Kansas Lobster. Nice Guy Greg. (If not quite oxymoronic, at least very odd.)

Anyway, I saw a surprising number of wineries in this state. Some of them boasted of their "Rhubarb Wine." To me, rhubarb wine seems as ripe for a satirical wine review as North Dakota's chokecherry wine was a couple weeks ago. Sadly, I just don't have the time or the inclination to write one.

YES! "The fun starts here." My bike tours are all about fun, but I think I'll pass on this kind of fun.

Reptile Gardens is one of the biggest tourist attractions around these parts. (That reminds me, I ran over a snake that slithered in front of me back on the Mickelson Trail. I felt bad, but I recovered after I looked back and saw it had slithered on.)

This might look like a Baptist Church, but it's actually a museum of America's founding fathers.

I'm fascinated by dinosaurs, but not so much that I would stop here.

"Dances With Wolves" was an OK movie, but not OK enough to stop here.

Again, FUN is my business. Even so, I have some skepticism about the fun I would find if I turned here.

That's just a small sample of what I saw along Highway 16. It took a lot of restraint on my part not to take pictures of all the rock shops, lodges, cabins, wax museums, gift shops, exhibits, gold dealers, etc.

With nary a stop in 25 miles, I finally made it to Rapid City where I consulted my phone to find a laundromat. Yeah, all of my clothes smelled. While scrolling, a guy came up out of nowhere and started talking to me.

"Do you need help finding something?"

"No, I was just searching for a laundromat."

"I'll take you to one of those," he offered. "It's just around the corner. I'll walk you there if you want."

"Okay," I said. We introduced ourselves and I held out my hand for a shake. Strangely, he responded by grabbing my forearm and gripping it tightly. Hmmmmmm?

After about 10 blocks of walking in the hot sun with this guy, and hearing over and over about how his girlfriend was always bitching at him and how he walked out on her and about how "she'll be back," I was able to determine he was drunk. Very perceptive, me.

"Are you sure you know where you're going," I finally asked? "I thought you said it was just around the corner."

"Oh yeah, it's just up there and then over there," he assured me with both hands pointing in those directions. He continued to lead me through a pretty rough area of the city. I kept an eye on him the whole way, and a couple times I considered just taking off on my bike without saying a word. But he seemed too drunk to be much of threat, and he did eventually get me to the laundromat. Then came the part that I just KNEW was coming.

"Man, I could sure use five dollars."

My smallest bill was a 10-spot. I assumed it would have been futile to ask if he had change. "Here you go," I said as I forked it over. "You were a great guide."

Heart

Comment

Link

Today's ride: 28 miles (45 km)
Total: 626 miles (1,007 km)

Rate this entry's writing	Heart	2
Comment on this entry	Comment	0