one bar, the invisible house, madonna vs jesus, which lawyer?, bicycling with an infrastructure, you can’t get there from here; it is, after all, an adventure

September 16, 2022

I don’t even know what time I fell asleep last night… 12:00? 1:00? It was one of those pleasant evenings in which time not only doesn't matter, it doesn't even exist. After waking up at 9:00, I ate my favorite breakfast: the homemade granola from a recipe I found online.

I’m in no hurry this morning. It’s my last day of riding, and after finishing I’ll be spending the next few days hanging out in Montreal. I’ve reserved a car and plan to ride my bike to the rental agency.

I forgot to take a photo of my campsite, but picture a gravel road measuring 40-50 yards on each of its three sides. The center of the triangle was on display, with RVs facing the triangle. Each RV appeared to be a permanent fixture, some having wooden porches and grass growing up around them. There were a couple of picnic tables near my tent, and a few small trees.

Two people sitting in lawn chairs on the porch of their RV surreptitiously watched me as I packed up all my gear and loaded it onto my bike. I was their entertainment for the morning. What they didn’t realize is that I was also surreptitiously watching them and they were my entertainment for the morning.

As I was riding away from my campsite, the youngest person I’d seen since entering the campground, a woman of about 50, called out something to me in French. When I said, in English, that I didn’t understand she asked again: “Did you get cold last night?” Inside my cozy sleeping bag, which was inside my cozy tent, I didn't, but I noticed that my voice was a little coarse by the end of the day yesterday from breathing in the cool air.

Some pictures along the way:

the statue seemed incongruous out here in this rural area

I passed this close to a cellphone tower and only had one bar. How does THAT happen??

This was an interesting house. Except for a 5-foot wide opening to the street, it was completely surrounded by vegetation. No driveway, no nothing… just trees encompassing the entire house.

This picture is looking at the entrance to the house from a different angle. It becomes nearly invisible.

At one point I saw a group of five young touring bicyclists coming my way so I crossed the street and stopped on the other side to eat a protein bar in case they wanted to talk. They didn’t want to talk, although one of them, in French, did ask me (I think) if everything was okay. I offered my usual response when someone says something to me that I don’t understand… a smile and a nod. Should someone say, perhaps, "Veux-tu que je gifle le moustique sur ton visage?" I would smile and nod.

When I say that they didn’t want to talk, I meant they didn't want to talk to me, because all of them stopped for a break 50 yards past me.

After posting this, I noticed the sign on the right. I zoomed in and think it means, "Please don't let any genies out of bottles," but I'm not sure. Any other suggestions?

I thought this Madonna statue set up just outside the door of the auto mechanic shop was interesting.

Then I saw this just up the road:

“Sure, you have the Madonna, but we crucified Jesus in our front yard.”

Riding along, I noticed something missing, but it took me a while to figure out what it was. The ubiquitous NO TRESPASSING and POSTED signs are absent. Perhaps there are some, but I haven’t seen any. (Or, perhaps the Canadians WANT me wandering into their yards)

Pedaling further, I realized something else is missing. Massive billboards. What is wrong with this country?!?! How am I going to know which beer is the best? Or which bail bondsman to select after the police arrest me for slapping an old lady? And which lawyer will get me the legal settlement I deserve after that personal injury.

......I feel lost.....

Speaking of personal injury lawyers, there was a terrible section of road for a few miles. Some of the cracks (none pictured) were large enough to grab a rim and not let go. To be fair, most of the roads were good.

my first glimpse of Montreal (using a telephoto lens) was very exciting

On one of my rest breaks I read up on Montreal, and didn’t realize that it has 1.7 million residents. I was wondering how I could safely navigate my way through a metropolis that large.

I needn’t have worried, because there were bike paths EVERYWHERE. Montreal clearly takes bicycling seriously, more so than any other place I’ve ever been in. The paths are built into the infrastructure… if there wasn’t a separate bike path, i.e. completely unattached to the road, then there was a designated path for bikes. And I’m not just talking about the faded picture of a bicycle on the side of a street, but a 10-foot wide raised lane with its own stoplights.

Even the industrial areas in the “rougher” part of town had bike paths which were frequented by commuters.

Motorists are respectful of bicyclists, perhaps because there are so many of us, or maybe it’s because the respect is instilled into the culture.

I'm posting a lot of pictures of just bike paths today, which may be a kind of boring, but I want to give you an idea of what it was like riding through a city of 1.7 MILLION people and never once having to worry about cars.

This is in downtown Montreal, where space is a precious commodity. Even so, bike lanes abound. You can't tell in the picture, but the bike lane is actually raised above the road by about an inch.

Interestingly, the bikers are less friendly here than in other places. Elsewhere, if you pass a fellow cyclist you get a smile and a hello. Here, my grin and greeting got no response, nor even an acknowledgement, because no one made eye contact. I believe it’s because there are just so many cyclists. I suspect it's the equivalent of driving down a busy street and trying to say hello to every driver you pass.

There were several detours along the way, none of which were terrible. Sometimes I would continue through detours, but in one case there was no way around so I rolled up to the person who appeared to be the foreman, a stocky guy in his forties with salt and pepper hair under his hardhat. The road ahead didn’t appear to be passable, but I asked him about it anyway. In broken English, he pointed at the area where they were working and said, “There is BIG mud,” then showed me an alternate route on my phone’s map.

This was the alternate route he showed me, and the worst detour of the day. For this very short section, I had to ride on grass. There was probably a better route, but I didn't look.

There were a LOT of bugs for a couple of hours… hitting my face, my helmet, and my arms. I hoped the ones hitting my helmet found their way to freedom, but at times I wondered if that tickle on my scalp was a drop of sweat trickling down or a wayward bug gone exploring.

The Montreal Biosphere: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montreal_Biosphere

I finally arrived at the car rental agency but, for some odd reason they couldn’t find my reservation. After some digging, that “some odd reason” was that I’d reserved it at the other location… the one at the airport. I asked about biking there, and although the agent and I had been talking about the rental he finally seemed to notice me. When his eyes unglazed and he focused his attention on my jersey, bicycle outside, and bugs speckling the entire front of my body, he gave me a look combined with both puzzlement and concern, then said with furrowed brow, “Bicycle? It’s at the airport. You can’t get there from here.”

Resigned, I ordered an Uber XL, one large enough to accommodate my bike and bags. After waiting a while (it was at the peak time) I got a call from the driver when he was a couple of minutes away letting me know that he couldn’t transport a bicycle and canceled the request. While the app began searching for another driver, I looked at google maps and noted the times: 38 minutes to go 11 miles in a car during rush hour (for $65.00 Canadian) versus 72 minutes on a bike (free). I thought, “By God, I CAN get there on a bike,” and canceled the Uber.

I coasted back to the waterfront, and I spent the next hour pedaling on some of the nicest bike paths I’ve seen.

I noticed that the geese still fear me, and kept their distance.... and rightly so.

I remain He-Who-Will-Roll-Over-You.

At the same time, I wondered, "These are Canada geese. If we're in Canada, does that make them Canadian Canada geese, as opposed to their US counterparts, American Canada geese? Or do they remain above international boundaries.

you can see the fear in the eyes of the goose on the right

After miles of idyllic bike paths I thought, “HA! Take THAT, Mr. Car Rental Agency Man! I CAN get there from here.”

Alas, hubris.

At the very end, my RideWithGPS route got confusing. It was telling me to turn where there wasn’t a road, so I pedaled around trying to get to the mysterious turnoff. I approached it from various directions and, desperate, I eventually found myself walking my bike through a path to an area surrounded by undergrowth and bushes where homeless people hide, then on to another area that was assuredly used for burying bodies.

Still, I was determined, and plodded forward. But, even though I was willing to stroll through the underbelly of Montreal I remained thwarted.

A trickle of doubt rolled over me... Maybe I CAN’T get there from here.

With nowhere else to go, I walked my bike out of the overgrowth and found myself at a large bus stop, with a number of buses coming and going. Dazed from my imploded hubris, I didn’t notice the enormous bus which had stopped 5 feet behind me until I turned around looked up into the driver’s placid face. Apparently, seeing a haggard, grungy, gray-haired guy walking a loaded touring bike out of the bushes at a bus stop is a common sight for him. He looked at me patiently, as if I were an old, deaf, dog crossing the street. I smiled, nodded, mouthed the word "sorry," and pointed to the path from which I’d just emerged knowing that THAT should explain everything.

Alternately, I could've pulled out Google Translator and yelled into it. Instead, I just got out of his way.

I considered my options (I could still get an Uber), but eventually rallied and decided that I would find a way… Perhaps overly dramatic, but “bloody, but unbowed” would be my motto.

I continued to ride around and, ultimately, did find a way, although it required dragging my 100-pound bike up some stairs.

Once back on the route, I only had one more hurdle to overcome. Having followed the route to where the rental car agency was supposed to be, there was nothing there… just the inside of an airport terminal. I asked someone at the Information Desk and was told I was at the right spot, but on the wrong level. I took the elevator and found it easily after that. I rented an SUV and, after loading my bike, drove to my hotel where I spent the next three days exploring Montreal (as best as I could considering the amount of rain they were having).

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Today I had a cold, brutal headwind. I mentioned this yesterday, but I’d like to add something today. Part of the enjoyment of a trip, at least for me, is in the planning. I found a great website which tells the likelihood of the wind direction in almost any city in any given month (an Iowa website). It’s a little difficult to navigate at first, but once you figure it out, it’s really beneficial. When I was determining which direction to go on this tour, I looked at Buffalo and found that there's a high percentage that the wind will be coming out of the WSW in September (you need to scroll down to get to the individual months). Then I looked at Albany and, to my pleasant surprise, found that it’s most likely to be blowing out of the South. Woo-Hoo! The Tailwind Tour! However, like I mentioned yesterday, I had a total of about 3 hours and 45 minutes without a headwind during my 14 days of touring.

On another website I found that the odds of it raining in upstate New York during the time I was there were about 32-34% (a "rainy day" means at least 0.04 inches of precipitation). I don't think the weather looked at that website because it rained at some point on all but two of my riding days, and a lot more than 0.04 inches when it did.

This isn't a complaint, it’s just to let you know that it’s all a crapshoot… the wind, the weather, the flats and mechanical difficulties, the traffic, the insects… the amount of planning simply doesn’t always make a difference. It was Louis Pasteur who said, “Luck favors the prepared mind.” That’s true, and your chances of a smooth tour are greater if you put in the effort beforehand, but… chaos will prevail.

And that’s not a bad thing. It is, after all, an adventure.

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section 1:

distance: 34.1 miles

elevation: +575 feet

total time: 4:37:56

moving time: 3:14:00

maximum speed: 18.7 mph

average moving speed: 10.5 mph (headwind stronger than usual today)

calories 1738

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section 2:

miles 16.4

elevation 264 feet

total time: 1:58:40

moving time: 1:30:24

maximum speed: 77.9 mph (clearly inaccurate... umm, I mean, oddly accurate for a change)

average moving speed: 10.9 mph

total:

miles 50.5

elevation 839

total time 6:36:36

moving time 4:44:24

max speed 18.7 mph

average moving speed: 10.6 mph

Today's ride: 51 miles (82 km)
Total: 648 miles (1,043 km)

Rate this entry's writing	Heart	5
Comment on this entry	Comment	3

Gregory GarceauThere are many things from your last two days that I'd like to comment on, but that would require about ten paragraphs and an hour of writing. I'll just leave it at this: Your posts have some unique observations and inspired humor. That's the kind of bike touring journal I like. (I hope the Pulitzer Prize committee doesn't find it.)
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1 year ago

Rachael AndersonWow! I’m impressed that you didn’t give up! We’ve had some similar adventures. Also, I just read about your offering help to Greg Garceau with his father and was very glad to hear about it. What a kind and wonderful thing to do!
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2 weeks ago

Mark BinghamTo Rachael AndersonIn spite of the bumps along the road it was a fun trip, and I'm anxious to take another one this summer.

Greg and I had a really nice visit. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease, slowly taking away the person you love, and I wanted to help however I could.
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2 weeks ago