***G-2 AND GREG SEEK JUSTICE AT THE STATE CAPITOL: A Fable

"You know, G-2, we didn't get much satisfaction at the Johnston City Hall," Greg said. "And that bogus list of "dangerous" Iowa cities and towns is pissing me off so much that I think we should seek a higher level of governmental power."

"RIGHT ON!" agreed his cartoon alter-ego.

So they hopped back on The Reckless Mr. Bing Bong and headed straight to the Iowa State Capitol Building for some direct legislative action to prevent such idiotic internet injustices in the future. They were not deterred by the fact that it was 89-degrees (F) with some very un-September-like humidity.

"Gosh," exclaimed G-2, "that's a really neato capitol building."

Greg responded, "You're right, G-2, and look behind you. Des Moines looks pretty groovy too."

The bike tourist and his alter-ego climbed the steps to the capitol, walked into the tourist entrance, emptied their pockets at the security gate, and proceeded on to the metal detector. They passed through with flying colors and were ready to explore for a while.

They looked up into the dome and were mightily impressed.

They also found the picture of Greg's nephew who is honored as an Iowa hero who died in the Iraq War.

Then it was time to get to the business at hand. They went to the senate chambers to ask the legislators to censure those Iowa-hating bloggers who wrote that absurd article.

"No can do," said the senator in charge, "freedom of speech, ya know."

"Yes, I agree with free speech in every case . . . except THIS one!" exclaimed Greg.

"Yeah," G-2 chimed in, "that internet article is libel, slander, defamation, and hate speech all rolled up into one ball of lies."

The only thing they heard from the Senate Chamber after getting booted out was, "Sorry."

Next, Greg and G-2 went up the ladder of authority and met with the Governor in her reception room. They ran into another roadblock when the governor claimed there was nothing she could do.

"I say we take this matter all the way to the Iowa Supreme Court," said G-2.

"You're absolutely right, G-2. We'll take it to the highest arbiter of justice in the land if we have to."

Behind closed doors, the justices listened to G-2 and Greg's case and gave due consideration to their arguments.

After only an hour of deliberation, the Iowa Supreme Court issued the following verdict:

"Sirs, your arguments are very compelling. After weighing all of the evidence, we have no choice but to unanimously rule that you have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the 'Best and Worst Cities For Security' article is complete and utter bullshit."

The two crusaders for truth and justice high-fived each other in victory. It was now official that the first part of their trip was not done in vain. It was party time.

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