Different, Daft, Dubious & Devoid of Decorum

Still No Departure Date Nor Destination, But Get Ready for Excessive Wordiness

From the beginning, my goal has been to make each mini-tour at least a LITTLE different than the others. Here comes the part where I try to differentiate the December mini-tour.

1) COLDER WEATHER: I don't have to be reminded that I played the "cold weather" card in both October and November. Yet, somehow, I cherry-picked the timing of those trips to include spells of unusually warm weather. Good for me--not so good for readers who were hoping to see me freeze my ass off. I will not be so lucky in December. It will be cold for sure. Maybe not sub-zero(F), but at least sub-freezing, which, come to think of it, IS sub-zero to the rest of the world.

Lest you think I'm a cold weather newbie, it's worth pointing out that this is not my first wintertime rodeo. I biked to work every day, all year round, for more than 25 years. I should also refer you to my A Few Days in a Snow Globe tour from last year. It was my first foray into wintertime touring. Unfortunately, my debut was interrupted by a major snowstorm, and I wimped out after only a few days. Despite that setback, I still managed to solidify my reputation as the biggest, most boastful showoff in the world of cycle touring journalism. (No small feat.)

A cold Minnesota sunrise from my back porch

2) A CHRISTMAS THEME: I don't know about the rest of the world, but December is Christmas Season in Minnesota. Perhaps that's because our weather helps us to feel some kind of kinship with the North Pole and Santa Claus. Indeed, we have our snow, our silent nights, our blizzards, our icicles. We have our Christmas tree farms, our jingle bells, our colorful light displays, our tinsel, our stockings hanging above our fireplaces.

For the most part, Minnesotans also have joy toward the world, goodwill toward men, twinkles in our eyes, rosy cheeks, and jolly laughs. HO HO HO! I'm not promising anything, but I hope to share a few pictures of our unbridled Christmas spirit while on this mini-tour.

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Actually, why should I wait that long to show a few pictures? Last night, I rode the reckless Mr. Bing Bong down to one of our local Lutheran churches to witness a Minnesota Christmas spectacle. It was a Live Nativity--complete with angels, shepherds, cool animals, a giant star, three kings, a manger, and Jesus, Joseph & Mary. Even though I'm a member of a secular religion called The Church of the Great Outdoors, which, I'm happy to remind you, was invented by ME, I'm still able to appreciate a live performance of the first Christmas.

The only thing missing from this depiction of the first noel was Santa Claus.

A multitude of angels join in on the festivities

A young shepherdess tends her wooly ovine.

A mooseherd leads his humped moose through the snow

Not content with my visit to the live nativity, I rode a little further into the 8-degree(F) air. I figured it would not only result in a few pictures of Minnesota Christmas overzealousness, but it would also give me a little more exposure to cold weather cycling. I will need that practice for my upcoming mini-tour.

There's no way I could pass up a photo of a skier jumping over a pennyfarthing.

It takes a lot of snow to build a snowman taller than your house. (Or else a lot of hot air.)

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Rachael AndersonYou’re making me cold looking at the snow! We got back Thursday night and are still having major jet lag and it’s cold here! We had a little snow here today but after being in Nice, France it feels way to cold for bicycling. It doesn’t help that we are suffering from jet lag. You sure are tough.
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1 year ago

Gregory GarceauTo Rachael AndersonI'm sorry to make you feel cold. Coldness is just something you get used to around here. If not, you'll be in for a very long, boring winter. And you don't have to keep saying I'm tough--I say it enough for both of us.
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1 year ago

Emily SharpWow, totally impressed they even had a camel. Christmas light pics always make me think of the movie Home Alone... since I don't ever go out to see the lights here to form other memories (even though the weather is very conducive for it). One year here a church had a life-size nativity scene set up outside the church. The animals were all wooden cut-outs, Joseph and Mary were mannequins dressed appropriately and the baby Jesus was a baby doll. But somebody had come along and replaced the baby Jesus doll with a "Chuckie" doll (who still had one of those!?) holding a menacing knife. So inappropriate but also so very funny - I did have a good giggle when I saw the pic of it :-)
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1 year ago

Gregory GarceauTo Emily SharpYes, I am just demented enough to also laugh at the Chuckie story. Thanks for sharing it.
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1 year ago

Nancy GrahamUffda! I am cold enough with our weather here, and you make me colder looking at your photos. Now — if only Santa had made his appearance at the very beginning, I could muster up some enthusiasm.

YOUR town does indeed light up the world! Also YOUR town is full of hardy folk to be out there at the first birth in the snow!!!!
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1 year ago