Accept……….and release - 2 Good Blokes get lost in Europe - CycleBlaze

April 19, 2023

Accept……….and release

Why I will never vote for Steve again

I managed a reasonable sleep last night waking only at 12.30, 2.00, 3.05, 3.50 and 4.35. I got up at 5.30 as dawn was breaking. The overnight rain has gone and it’s a crisp Parisian morning. I had a few  things to fiddle with on the bike, and working out where to store my goods and chattels took way too long. My tyres had deflated a little, particularly the rear one, so I pumped them up again hoping by some miracle they’d behave for me.

After a croissant and coffee at the Tabac in the main square I managed to get myself organised and was on the bike for the first time riding with a slowly deflating tyre up the hill to the station. I’d arranged to meet John at Luxembourg, which I thought was a pretty ambitious first day on the bike. Turns out it’s a train station near Gard du Nord.I was to meet John at the northern side of the station giving me a one in  four chance. I lucked in and found him sitting at the street exit I randomly chose. 

We doubled back to where he was staying in the Latin Quarter to plan our day. I needed a SIM card and to find a bike shop which I’d figured naively shouldn’t take too long. Silly me.

First stop was coffee before we (as in John) navigated our way to the Orange mobile shop a few kms away.

The Pantheon
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And we’re off!
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Having finally found the Orange mobile shop I was greeted by the concierge who took my passport and with a forced smile asked me to take a seat and wait to be served. With only one other customer in there and 3 staff members this was going to be a doddle. I waited as 4 other customers wandered in and  I waited some more before politely asking the concierge what was going on. “No I don’t know how long it will take, you must just wait.” Then the others were being served so I wiped a smile on and asked the door bitch why I hadn’t been served. No answer but she assured me I was next in line which was great as all the others had now been served and had left. Finally an hour and 15 minutes later I got my new SIM. 

By the time we found a bike shop it was almost noon and apart from pumping my tyres back up they were not much help. We’d decided by now to catch a train out of the city. We picked Melun, a town about  30 kms south of Paris and headed to Gare du Lyon for the simple tasking of purchasing tickets.

Try as we might we couldn’t get the ticket machine to comply with our ticket request, mainly because we were at at the Grand Ligne machine and not the SNCF local machine so that wasted another hour. Having finally worked that out the next train was at 2.45, it left us half an hour to get rid of an inquisitive Belgian asking way too many questions about our bikes. Normally ok, but not today.

The last carriage was the one with bike storage and having secured our bikes we were suddenly confronted by a bloke who jumped into the carriage and started yelling abuse at us. Then another guy jumped in and tried to vaguely restrain him. They were either high on something or had recently visited Orange mobile, but either way  I thought we were in deep shit. The second guy was constantly apologising whilst still trying to restrain his mate, but it looked like some sort of set up. Then all 6 foot 3 of John took a deep breathe, puffed out his chest and told them to fuck off. Luckily they moved into the main carriage to harass  someone else and we bolted with our bikes up to the other end of the train with minutes to spare before departure.

The rest of the trip was thankfully uneventful. I desperately need to solve my deflation issues so we headed up to Habert Cyril, a bike shop up the biggest hill in Melun, run by…you guessed it Cyril. My front tyre was now holding pressure so we pumped it up a little more. He found a tiny hole in my rear tyre that was seeping a small amount of goop but it wasn’t sealing as it was meant to. It’s now 4pm so we decided to ride on and I’d swap out the rear tyre and put a tube in when we got to Fontainebleau where we had booked an apartment.

I’m really starting to regret going tubeless. I only did it because Steve wouldn’t shut up about how good it was, although in fairness I’ve never known him to get a flat and we’ve done a lot of trips together. But he did promise me that I’d never get a flat again if I converted.
So we leave Cyril and not 100 metres down the road my front tyre literally explodes off the rim. Luckily I was not going fast and managed to stay upright. Seconds later a lady runs out of her house thinking I’d been shot. She’s relieved, but not as much as me. So back to Cyril. He fitted a new tube into the front tyre and took the back wheel off and re-gooped it. And then he wouldn’t accept any money. What a champion bloke!

The walk of shame
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A master craftsman admiring his work
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Bloody tubeless tyres. Never again!
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It’s now close to 5pm and we were still in Melun. We really need to start riding, but not before downing some pastries. It was a beautiful ride up the Seine to Fontainebleau  passing amazing weekenders of rich Parisians with the odd chateaux thrown in for good measure.

By the Seine
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Our first cobbled sector
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Johns precise navigational skills guided us expertly to our apartment, although his locksmithing skills were somewhat lacking. With 3 locks on the apartment door it took first John, then me another 20 minutes to try a seemingly endless combination of turns before  I managed to use the power of swearing and jumping up and down like a lunatic get in.

There’s nothing like a hot shower to ease the pain of a frustrating day and we had nothing like a hot shower because the bloody hot water system wasn’t working. And nor was the gas heating.

Dinner at a local pizzeria did the trick as did a nice glass of red, over a discussion of how politicians promise the world to get your vote and then do bugger all once they’re in. Steve, I hope you’re reading this. I am very disappointed. I thought you were the real deal. I suppose the promise of no flats was not a core promise.

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Hopefully tomorrow will be a regular day of riding. Even with the mishaps of today you’ve got to love France. The only thing missing is a Telstra shop.

Today's ride: 29 km (18 miles)
Total: 29 km (18 miles)

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Comment on this entry Comment 8
Steve Miller/GrampiesOh you poor souls! What an epic first day. It can only get better from here on in, and we certainly hope it does.
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11 months ago
Rosie WindsorAll i can say is.. bloody hell! What a day! Still made me giggle though. All smooth going from now on hopefully. Au revoir!
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11 months ago
Dennis LangleyTo Steve Miller/GrampiesI’m sure it will!
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11 months ago
Dennis LangleyTo Rosie WindsorThanks. We had a much more boringly uneventful day yesterday!
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11 months ago
Pete CoxWowsers. An epic, somewhat hilarious for us, start to the trip. Serious FOMO on my part. Say hi to John.
P.S. I’m still on zero flats on tubeless also!
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11 months ago
Dennis LangleyToday has been a lot better and less eventful. Very cold start at around 2 degrees. Got better though and wore a y shirt this afternoon.
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11 months ago
Steve WhanWait ... I'm sure I didnt promise no flats ... I just demonstrated sound leadership by having none myself. As for the tyre blowing off, how much air did you put in it??? Anyway I'm with Pete, wish I was riding too.
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11 months ago
Dennis LangleyWhen I was at the bike shop the first time I got him to pump the front tire to 50psi That’s well within the recommended range.
I have time to consider my actions and I will vote for you unless my other tyre blows.
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11 months ago