The trailer itself was several years old, very tidy, and about twenty feet long. Sitting on the table were a couple of Chick tracts. 

Unless you’ve been living under a rock your entire life, at some point you’ve encountered a Chick tract… you just didn’t know that’s what they’re called. “This Was Your Life!” was sitting on the table, one of many I’d seen regularly through my teen and young adult years. 

Mrs. Byrne came in a little later.

“I just wanted to make sure you have everything you need.”

I assured her that I did. She then glanced at the table with the tracts, raised her eyebrows, and asked, 

“Have you heard the Good News?” 

I noticed from the way she said it that she had capitalized the G and the N.

I’m not sure who all is reading this, and there may be some people in other countries who aren’t familiar with the term, but when “Good News” is a proper noun, it has an entirely different meaning from “good news.” Uncapitalized good news is when you got an A on an exam, or you find out your inlaws aren’t coming for Christmas after all. Good News, on the other hand, is a religious expression, and when coupled with “Have you heard the Good News?” means that you’re about to receive some bad news…  specifically, that if you’re not a Christian then you’re going to hell.

I jest. The actual Good News is that you don’t really have to, as any person with a Chick tract in their hand will tell you.

She checked on me again half an hour later, bringing a cold glass of very much appreciated orange juice. Our next conversation was about the Charismatic Movement. “A lot of churches are becoming charismatic.” Listened to without the lens of what the charismatic movement is, it’s a funny sentence.

She also told me about several Healers in her church, naming them one by one and asking if I’d ever heard of them. 

I squinted in thought with each name, then shook my head as if it was just beyond my cognitive ability to remember anything of such magnitude.  It seemed as if, although local, these were people I should've heard about all the way over in Texas, if only I were righteous enough.

Alas....   I'm afraid I hadn't, and wasn't.